If your WS is using the Internet to have communication, here are some of the things that worked for me. Thought I would share some of what I became an expert at - even though it created it's own pain. But it's good for those who need it.

Computer files:
You can find the history from the Internet main menu bar. You can also find temporary internet files in My Computer on your hard drive. I would also look at the temp file and the cookies. This is a good way to trace where someone has been or if they have been online. If your computer saves input in fields, you can use the down arrow key in any blank field and see what was typed in (i.e. in a search engine).

Singles - websites:
You can find out if your WS has a personals ad sometimes by clicking on "forgot password" and keying in the e-mail address. Sometimes it will tell you if there is a match and if the new password has been sent to the e-mail address. If you have the password to the e-mail address, you can then obtain the personal ad password. Otherwise, your WS will just see that the site sent the requested new password and wonder what is going on.

MSN - Hotmail/Messenger:
If you know the password, obviously you can log in and see mail from hotmail. There is a place under options where you can block e-mail addresses. In addition, MSN has a messenger service that you can download and see who is on the buddy list. From the buddy list, you can view the profiles of the listed persons. From their profiles, you can sometimes e-mail them. You can also block them from the buddy list as well. Of course, your WS can unblock at any time. You can also enter your WS profile and make changes to their information (i.e. Married - in love with my spouse, leave me alone! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> )

If you don't know the password, you can answer all the questions right in the password help screen and obtain it at a different e-mail address. (i.e. zip code, state and answer to secret question) If your computer saves the input for fields, you can go to the Compose tab from your own hotmail account and use the drop down arrow to see who an e-mail was sent to. In addition, once you know, you can delete from the field by using the delete key and then you will know if it is repeated after that day. You can also use the down arrow in the subject line to see if there was a subject and repeat the same process.

Yahoo - E-mail/Messenger:
If you know the password, you can enter the e-mail. You can also see if there is a personal ad for your WS. You will need to download the messenger and sign on to see the buddy list. You have the same options as MSN to view the profile. However, Yahoo has a few more unique functions. You can set it to Archive Messages if it isn't already set. That is from the menu bar. Also, you can IM someone who isn't logged on and they will get an offline message when they log on. There are the same block features in Yahoo. You have to open a window as if IM'ing them, then click the Ignore/Block icon. Then delete them from the list.

If you don't know the password, you can search for profiles or view profiles from the yahoo main screen - click on Members at the very bottom left. I haven't tried the compose e-mail check from Yahoo because I don't have a Yahoo e-mail account. You can also answer all the questions right from the password help screen like MSN and obtain a new password.

Cell phones:
You can sign up to view the cell phone bill on-line. The two companies that we have used allowed you to see unbilled information so I could see daily what numbers were called. If you have a phone number, the phone company will tell you who it belongs to if it's not unlisted. Some cell phone companies will also list who text messages are sent to and from on the printed bill. Also, the phone will store sent items if your WS has not deleted them. And of course, incoming items are in the inbox. Some cell phones allow you to text to an e-mail address. If you have an online account, you can block the to and from e-mail from any e-mail address and even divert it to your own e-mail address.

Good luck and hope this serves in some way.

and one more for yall- this one saved my sanity so that I could leave my house without going crazy wondering what he was doing-

Spectorsoft -- you can find it online. It costs about $70, if you pay w/ credit you can download it now, and they will still send you a nice discreet cd in the mail if you want.

Why is it a God-send?
(well, I'm glad you asked)
1. You can set the program to run in stealth, which means your spouse will never see it on the computer anywhere- it is COMPLETLY hidden and can only be accessed by a hotkey combination that you can make up.
2. You can set it to record screen shots (a picture of everything on the screen) from anywhere to every 1 second to every 5 minutes or whatever...I set mine to every 3 seconds, and I can read everything said in each instant message.
3. In case you miss something between screen shot captures (which you can print and save for "proof" like I did), it simutaneously records all websites visited and all keystrokes.
4. Even if they figure out the hotkey combo, you must have a password to even open the program.

...to make this even "better", I used my STBX' own credit card to buy it in order to spy on him. (hahaha). Note:it only records what happens on that computer- cant be accessed thru a network- only that computer.

If you have an idiot spouse who uses the computer to betray you like I did, do yourself a favor- this is the best investment and will give you almost all the answers you want- no matter how good they think they delete things off the computer.

Awesome. Good information. I believe that this is another step in the process of "exposing the affair to the light". It saved my marriage. The less secrecy my FWH had, the less "fun" it was for him or the less intrigued he was with the whole idea.

Infidelity is a horrible thing to experience, but when you are...you need to arm yourself with whatever is needed to get you through.

Good luck and God Bless all!

Any ideas on how to know if your WS is communicating with OP via email at work? My H is a teacher and the OW works for the state. He just moved back into our house with me.

Also, he has his own cell phone and account (different account from mine). How can I get access to that? Should I call the company customer service line? Do you think it will work?

I have a similar question to dueinjan; and my H just moved back home too, coincidentally. My H has an AOL account, i know his screen name but not password. We both only have pcs at work, nothing at home...i tried the AOL "lost password" number but of course they will only give info to the person whose name the acct is under...there has to be a way for me to find his password if i have his screen name - and yes, i have tried about 100 different passwords i thought he may use to no avail. HELP!

Not having the password or when they are using a PC away from home limits your ability to see things. There are password breaker programs out there, but I am not knowledgable in them.

You should be able to sign up online to view the cell phone bill (even as the spouse). Just sign on and see if it lets you sign up knowing the data of your spouse. If not, call the cell phone company. Most of them don't think twice about the spouse calling.

Good luck!~

typically, AOL is fine talking to the spouse as well. Of course, he will know you got into it. If you take my advice, however, and install the spectorsoft software, you will se every keystroke he types- on or offline. then you could coverlty get his any passwords he enters on that computer from the second he hits the on switch and see what he does when he doesn't think you are looking.

the Work is harder. But if you KNOW/storngly suspect he is conversing sexually with someone at work, have a chat with his boss. Most companies don't appriciate vulgarity or scandals/affairs for that matter when it comes to the company's email. I spoke to my STBX's boss (he's in the military, so it's supposedly a lot more harsh/strict when it comes to this) and they put him under investigation. But it's a shot.

Also, if these "men" are supposedly working things out with you ladies- you have every right and every reason in the world to deny them their privacy. THEY betrayed YOU. It is their responsibility to prove to you that they are worth your time and trust. It is YOUR responsibility to MAKE THEM. Tell your husband you want his password to AOL. (of course, he'll just take it elsewhere...but my point is, is that you need to eliminate his options where you can and make it veryvery hard for him so that you don't get walked all over) And I agree with the cell thing- esp. if you get a woman (for the cell OR aol) tell her your situation and make sure to let them know you are the spouse. Usually, if you know the credit card # the bill goes to, aol is okay with that. And with cells, I think the passwords are almost all (as default) the account holder's social security # --all or last 4 #'s. That's only if they didnt change it, though b/c that's just the default.

Hope this helped some of you. Please learn from my hell of experience.

i would also like to add for those that spouce is comunicating from another pc outside the home.go ahead and check the home pc.if your spouce is in an affair chances are they have contacted from home.you gotta remember ,they're in fantacy world.they think they are invincible and cant get caught.they are not gonna sit around all weekend without talking to the op.
on aol you can check the cache.its in the aol/organize folder.even if they delete all mail its still there.alot of it s in computer jiberish so you have to read alot but you will find out anything.it will show any extra screen names that are being used,all mail sent and recieved and even if they was looking for someone on line.thats where i got my wife.she was way ahead with cleaning her tracks,but most dont know about the cache.
as far as spy software you dont have to buy it.some online offer a free 30 day trail.you just download it and go.if you havent found it in 30 days,it probably dont exist.if there is a affair going on you will need that 70$.it seems like once the affair gets going the ws doesn't seem to care if the bills get paid.