well on dec 22nd
i was home. she was out shoping for x mas and when she came home everything seemed fine she even gave me a small present and said you can have this now it was my favorite nascar filled with candy. it realy made me happy and i thanked her for it. we spent the rest of the evening playing on our pcs. we went to bed around 12am and i have been having alot of trouble sleeping for a while now it was 2:30 am she was still awake also and ask me what was wrong i told that i just have alot on my mind. then she said like our relationship? i said no not at all. so i ask her why? she said she didnt want to be in this relationship anymore she didnt think she loved me anymore and ask me to be out of the house befor she gets home from work tomorow i said i would. and i went and got my rv out of storige.and loaded it with all my things.that was the hardest thing i'v ever had to do.i felt a hurt inside my body that i thought was going to kill me? like part of me died.well i'm a very good guy and would never hurt her or cheat in anyway and we got along very good just a little fussing once in a while.never a bad fight in the whole 7 years we been together,and we also have so much in commin.well i found out that she met a man that she sees almost every day at her work place and he was interested in her. so she was going to give up everything we had together to jump into this new relationship? and she don't even know this guy she has had this problem with most of her ex's.in her past.well she did decide to work it out with me and ask me to move back in on x mas eve.and we have been doing alot of talking the past couple of days and were going to get some help for this problem.i have her back but i'm still walking on eggshells around her and i still hurt inside very bad from this shock this lady is my whole life and i don't want this to happen again? she will still have to see this man almost every day at work.and this is killing me

Hi Soo Hurt,

Sorry that this is going to be quick. I just wanted to say Welcome, you have come to the right place. I'll stop back when I have more time.

There will be others along to respond also

Take care

Hi there,
So sorry you are in this situation, but glad you found the board.

It's a really good sign that she is agreeing to work on things...sometimes the wayward spouse isn't willing.

This is just my opinion though - the betrayed spouse should not be the one to move out (if the subject of someone leaving, ever comes up). The one who cheats, should be the one to leave the house.

I don't know what sort of relationship your wife has/had with the co-worker, but generally it seems most people feel that "no contact" is the answer. Is she willing to give up contact?

Good luck...hope this site helps.

hi everyone'
just a quick note to let you all know that we are still working things out.i'm still a little on the shaky side,you know wondering if it will happen again? even though she says it won't she has to see the OM every day and that makes it hard for me to deal with. i'm being very calm but i don't want to get mad at this guy. she has never seen me mad in 7 yrs and i hope she never has to? i don't know what to do? should i just go and have a talk with this guy or what?

I would suggest seeing a marriage counsellor and addressing the problems in your marriage including the fact that she is still working with the guy that she had the affair with. By utilizing a neutral party (therapist) you will have more impact.

Soo hurt

I just stumbled onto this site yesterday and read your post from 12/27. Our situations are so much alike, however my husband is the deceptive one. Did your wife have anything physical with the man? Do you have children? My husband did not have a physical relationship with the woman because I believe he got caught before he had the chance. In my husbands case the problem seemed to be a very strong physical attraction to a young woman half his age. We have been married 11 years and have 2 children - ages 4 & 7. I also feel like I could die from the pain inside me. I have never known such hurt. My husband thinks this should be easy for me to get over since nothing physical happened. I say the intention was there and that makes it eaqually as bad for me. I thought our marriage was good and can't believe he would throw everything away for a young women he only knew 6 weeks and talked to 5 minutes on occasion in passing. I am sorry for what you are going through and I know your pain.

no she did not have an (A) she said she tought she wanted him and had the chance to go to him when i was out of the house staying in my RV' but she just called him on the phone and talked. she says she does love me but its deep inside her somewhere? i'm not perfect but i treat people like i would like to be treated and give them love and respect and trust' thats the way my dad said it should always be.she also says i treat her better then anyone ever has before?
if thats true why would she hurt me like that? we are seeing a therapest now so i hope that will help us? (i don't want to lose my best friend) dc76vet@excite.com