I am 35 and got married at 20 to my high-school sweetheart with whom I was very much in love. As many, my relationship has had its ups and downs but nevertheless, we continue together with 4 children. For the first 10 years of my marriage I took pride in knowing I was virtually monogomous as I watched my peers experience infidelities and divorces (some because of the infidelity, others for other reasons). However, over the last few years I have become very interested again in other women. I had one short-lived affair with a married woman 10 years my junior and visited 2-3 "professionals" to vent some steam. I no longer live with the confidence that my marriage will last as I just can't block out the prospect of experiencing other women. I pretty much had things going my way due to a lot of hard work and a lot of comprimise (I think mostly mine)in our marriage, but now I have lost the dedication I once had and my mind is filled with the forbidden. Cut me down or share your comments. <P>------------------<BR>Fulgencio

Welcome <B>Fulgencio</B> to the Marriage Builders - Infidelity Forum.<P>The people here represent both betrayed spouses and betrayers(waywards) alike and the occasional Other Woman/Man/Person (OP/OW/OM).<BR><B>All</B> of us are really here to try and build or rebuild our marriages... and we are trying to use principles and concepts that are espoused by Dr. Willard Harley of Marriage Builders(MB).<P>I understand from your introduction you may be questioning your desire to continue in <B>your</B> marriage. It is the desire of <I>everyone</I> here to support the ideas needed to <B>build</B> marriages...<P><B>Stay here awhile and find out why! Please!!!</B> <P>There is a wealth of information here at this site, starting from the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/" TARGET=_blank>Marriage Builder's Home Page</A>.<P>If you're new to the ideas being presented here at MB start off with <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3000_intro.html" TARGET=_blank>Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts</A><P>Many of us need to start immediately working on our marriages (because of existing affairs) and a <B>sound</B> understanding of <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A and Plan B</A> is crucial! To avoid an affair... your's or your W(Wife)'s these are good things to know about...<P>You'll see a barrage of other "terms" which you might guess the meaning of... but an alternative is to look up what they mean at this site... Words like (click on them to find out):<BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Busters</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3200_love.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Bank</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3300_needs.html" TARGET=_blank>Emotional Needs</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3550_give.html" TARGET=_blank>Giver and Taker</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3500_policy.html" TARGET=_blank>The Policy of Joint Agreement(POJA)</A>.<P>The concepts of the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3200_love.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Bank</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3300_needs.html" TARGET=_blank>Emotional Needs</A> are most relevant if you haven't started an affair... They will give you an understanding of why you may be having these feelings... and hopefully why to stop... <P>Much of what is presented here is about self building too! The learning isn't going to happen overnight though... look at the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8100_article.html" TARGET=_blank>Articles</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5525_qa.html" TARGET=_blank>Infidelity Q&A</A>.<BR>The real learning is best aided by obtaining some of the books from the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6000_bookstore.html" TARGET=_blank>MB Bookstore</A>... of most important for those who are conidering affairs, or are in affairs, is <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6070_sa.html" TARGET=_blank>"Surviving An Affair"</A> by Dr. Willard Harley. <B>This is the 'bible' for this forum.</B><BR>Other books can be very useful as well... like <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6020_needs.html" TARGET=_blank>"His Needs, Her Needs"</A> (this would be <B>best</B> for you) and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6030_love.html" TARGET=_blank>"Love Busters"</A>.<BR>There will be many other good books that the MB people will recommend... take their advice... they've been around.<P>Most of all... you will find <B>compassion</B> and <B>love</B> here. No judging... no demeaning... no malice here!<BR>The people here will be honest with you... don't take it as abuse. <BR>The people here have all had their lives thrown into a whirlwind of despair, confusion, and sadness.<BR>We've all experience gut wrenching emotions that we though could never exist, in anyone's idea of humanity.<BR>Feelings of hatred, love, disillusionment, envy, rejection, emptiness, <B>deep depression</B>, and on and on...<BR>These feelings are felt by <B>both</B> betrayed <B>and WAYWARD TOO!</B><P>Just the books and facts aren't going to get you through it all... not without <B>support</B>. That's where <B>we</B> come in! <B>We</B> care... because <B>we</B> know how it feels. Believe it... <B>You are <I>not</I> alone</B>! There are many waywards here... seek them out!!! <BR>Remember... <B>you are <I>not</I> alone</B>! <P>We can give you help... to build back many vital aspects of your life and sanity. And hopefully to work on your marriage. [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]<P>Post... Post... Post... Reply... Reply... Reply... READ! READ! READ!<P>I've been speaking in behalf of some dear friends... as well as some complete strangers too..., when I've used <B>"we"</B>!<BR>But... if you're here... join in with them... they <B>will</B> join in with you. [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]<P>The devestation of a separation... and/or divorce is more than brutal...<BR>Your spouse... will hit a low in her life that will lead her to consider the unthinkable... [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img]<P>Please join with us... let us help you <B>and your wife</B>... Please... [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]<P>Jim<BR>---------------------------------<BR>Where two or more are gathered...