I think sometimes I'm losing my mind. I had really resolved yesterday to work on my marriage, keep my witts about me and get on with living. Had a good workout and got my work done. Then for some reason my H felt the need to tell me that he is still conflicted, that he is trying to work his way back to recommitting to our marriage. Why is it that he feels the need to tell me things like "my relationship with ow is different, more loving, I tell her things I never told you before now. I am more affectionate with her." Make ME Puke, let's see her deal with 3 teenagers 24/7, a house, and an unemployed louse. She got to see him during the week living single in another state and not dealing with the daily problems of living.

Whew, I need to take a breath and slow down. I do know that he is serious about trying to put this back together so we can finish raising the kids together. But when I got into bed last night and he was laying there snoring I had to lay on my hands to keep from slugging him. I don't feel that rage all the time but boy when it builds I really have to restrain myself. I've even started lamaze breathing to calm myself. Also I'm having trouble eating without feeling sick to my stomach. I need to find help in keeping my resolve. We do not have the money for mc right now, although, as soon as he gets back to work we have both agreed to go. Thanks for the vent.

used,
I can truly share your pain! My H told me "that thing you and I had that made us special I feel was lost and I found it with the OW...We share so much in common...I love you as the Mother to our kids and you'll always be a part of my life but I am in love with her and she is with me" GAG!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> But when the fog lifted (thank God it didn't take him long) He couldn't believe he'd ever said that crap to me! It was like he was living in a dream state where everything he'd said and done wasn't real. ugh! I was ready to tear my hair out (and his lol <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ) But i restrained and waited for him to dig his head out of her (the OW) @$$! Now he is more like the man i married only WAY better! I am also trying to be a better wife as I can readily see the mistakes I made to contribute to the state of our dysfunctional M.
Best of luck to you...and God bless

UA,
This is typical "fog" talk. Hopefully, that will assist you in some way. Know that your feelings are normal. And there are many more to come on this roller coaster. Keep reading the principles on the board and purchase the books SAA (Surviving An Affair) and Torn Asunder (haven't read that one, but hear that it is good). These books will assist you in knowing that your feelings are normal as well as giving you groundwork and steps to head towards recovery. Hang in there and keep posting here. You will find good support.

Thanks, it does help to know that hopefully his head is in the fog and he may come out of it. I guess the fact that I'm actually married to someone I really don't know is freaking me out. But when we just sit and talk about other things I see the man I always loved. Believe it or not with all that is happening we are about to start a new business together. Either the smartest or the dumbest thing I've ever done. But we do work together amazingly well.
I was advised to tell my sister about everything and seek her council, but I know she'll say leave the bum and then she will hate him forever, and if we do manage to fix this I don't want two of the people I love most in the world to not love each other too. So y'all get stuck with listening to my whine and rant, It seems to keep me sane. Whenever I feel really down I come and read the mb and the articles and I feel much better. So all you out there who need somewhere to share your feelings this is a great place to be. Thank you.