Hi
I just checked the boards, and I haven't heard from you in two days. Are you ok?? Have you reached SH,yet??
Please talk whem you need to. Don't do this by yourself. Too many others will help you. There are a lot of wonderful men/women on the "recovery" board also. Please post soon and let us know how you are.
God Bless
traceys

Cgars
still checking........................
traceys

Hi Tracey---Sorry for being off the site for two days but I could not get on the computer. Things are going better. I talked with my husband and I doubt that he will talk with SH but I am going to when it can be set up. However, we did have an interesting talk about a career move my husband would like to make. It would not be my first choice, but something I could be O.K. with, since instead of saying--- this is my career and I'm doing it--- he asked how I felt about it and listened to my pros and cons. I also used some of the negotiation skills from the seminar and told him that it was important to me to follow through on the marriage-builders and I would like him to consider that. At first he no, absolutely not. But then he agreed to do the follow up lessons as long as I understood that he could not agree with the policy of joint agreement at this time. I will ask SH, but I believe that with the lessons he will understand the policy and hopefully, get comfortable with it. This is the first encouragement I have had in a long time, so I am not turning cart wheels but I sure feel better. Thanks for checking on me--makes me feel great. How are you doing in your recovery?

Good to hear from you!
Your H is making progress.!! He asked for your opinion. Talked with you about stuff that affects both of you. I say that is a step in the right direction! Better than a step back, huh?? Keep the communication lines open, cgar. BUT don't push. If you really want some wonderful encouragement on how strong a BS can be...check out Mark10/13/96 on the recovery board. His wife had an affair, and he is following "plan A" perfectly!! He is an inspiration to all of us. He has wonderful advice and is very encouraging. Go back to the first of the year and read some of his threads. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
We are doing pretty good. My husband challenged me to go a week without bringing anything up about the affair. I am trying. I am not throwing it in his face. I don't ask questions anymore. It just comes up, because we don't relate as well to each other as we used to. And the Affair is the reason why. So it just finds it's way into our life. I want it behind me. I am determined that I will "dump" this affair, and put it elsewhere!!
My H and I are laughing now. I don't mean RIGHT now!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I mean we have started really having some fun again. Planning weekends together. Playing ping-pong in the garage. Playing games with the girls. Giggleing in bed. It is getting better. We have a ways to go, but I know we will get there. We are back in MC. I had a session alone last night. We go together next week. I told the MC, that I am no longer interested in talking about the affair. It's behind us. He and I need to learn to relate to each other in a new way. <<<<HE MUST LEARN TO TALK ABOUT HIS EMOTIONS>>>>Thats one of the reasond we found ourselves in this position. He had some feelings that he couldn't express, and they festered right into an affair!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
I can not live with a man that can't tell me how he feels. We are going to work on this.
I will keep checking on you. Post your story in recovery. That is where you are now. The people on that board are so very smart. They have been through it. A lot of them have seen SH for counselling, so you get an added benefit there.
good luck, cgars. i am praying for you. pray for yourself. pray for your husband; it will help you like him more. I promise.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> blessings
traceys