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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 176
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 176 |
My last final is tomorrow. I haven't seen H in 6 weeks. The only effort he has made to contact me is a couple of e-mails saying he is miserable with me, he wants divorce and OW makes him happy (that one was 2wks ago). Anyway, I am going to my parents tomorrow after my test. I don't know where H lives, but I know where he works and he will probably be working tomorrow night. My question is: should I drop by and initiate contact? I have so many things to say and I want him to try to find time to talk to me. Am I just pushing him closer to filing for D? What should I do - stop or keep on trucking and waiting??
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 794
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 794 |
Hi Student,<P>Personally, I don't think that confronting him at his workplace is such a good idea. He'll immediately go into defensive mode because he won't be expecting to see you.<P>If you would like to talk with him about a few things, send him an EMail and see if he will agree to meet with you at a mutually agreeable place. That way, he will be prepared and won't feel threatened.
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 176
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Member
Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 176 |
The only problem with sending an e-mail is that he hasn't been replying to them. I'm told that I have to wait and see if he will come to me, but he hasn't made an effort yet and I'm not sure that he will. My fear is that the next time I see him, we will both be accompanied by lawyers (sniff, sniff ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif) )
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 794
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 794 |
I would sit tight, and wait to see if he files. If he really wants a divorce, why is he sending you Emails, why isn't he filing?<P>Hang tough, for now.
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 1,087
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 1,087 |
I agree with Sidney, email him and ask for a meeting in a public place. The reason for a public place is that he won't feel that you are there to make a scene. He will realize you want to talk. If you don't get an answer(is he living with OW? Is the computer he uses at work or home) It may be that she is intercepting the message. So if that is a possiblity then male him a letter at work. Tell him that you nedd to talk about how to handle certain things, bills, something on that nature. At least it will get you to see him and find out what is going on.<P>------------------<BR>di<P>
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 176
Member
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Member
Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 176 |
I THINK he is living with OW - I'm not really sure. I know that his computer isn't working now, so if he has a computer at his residence - it is hers. He probably uses a computer at school or work. He has two addresses and I've sent messages to both. I don't even think he has checked his e-mail since the "I really want this divorce . . . OW makes me happy" e-mail. I'll try writing a letter - snail mail. I am quickly losing my patience. Thanks for the support.
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