It can work out for you. Things can get better. You can have the marriage you deserve.

I am the BS. D-day was in Apr 2002. Her fog has lifted. The woman I married is back. My marriage is better then I could have hoped. She understands what really happened.

Don’t give up. Don’t loose faith.

You have a long road ahead of you. You will be tempted to do many terrible things you thought yourself not capable of doing. Don’t do them. Don’t cave in. The goal is to come out of this whole. There is already enough regret to go around for a lifetime. Don’t make things worse.

You will survive. You will prevail. You will fulfill your dreams. With the help of God, you can do this. You may be walking through hell, but you don’t have to walk alone.

Take care of yourself. Exercise. Eat right. Don’t binge drink. Don’t mask your pain behind something as flimsy and temporary as drugs. Find the positive. Make the positive happen in your life. Be the pillar of strength that lies dormant inside of all of us.

You can do this. Don’t loose hope. Don’t fall into despair.

It happened for me. It can happen for you too.

“Never deprive someone of hope — it may be all they have.”
-Unknown

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

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<small>[ January 22, 2003, 07:27 PM: Message edited by: TooMuchCoffeeMan ]</small>

Ya know, this is why I rarely come here any more.

I try to post a message about strength, courage, and hope and someone responds with a CYA message.

TMCM, you're spooking the cattle.
You've been in this board slightly longer then me. I've read your story. I understand how deeply you've been hurt. We all hurt. Perhaps it's time to stop being so paranoid and quit waffling about what you want out of life. Judging by the number of your posts, you spend way too much time here and not enough time in the real world. Turn off your PC and go play with your kids.
Good luck to you sir.

To the rest of you I appologize for the above. But you'll never move ahead jumping at shadows. Moving on takes strength, courage, faith and hope. Yes be vigilent, but don't destroy yourself and the people you love in the process. Come out of this completely mentally and physically healthy. Not as damaged goods. Aim high. You deserve it.

This board does wonderful work. Don't let the vocal minority discourage you.

PfoaFool
TMCM may not be the only one burned twice see my post. I was the newbie back in Feb & March '02. WW has been "back" since May of '02. NC since then. Out of the blue the OM calls and instead of saying, "didn't you understand my NC letter." She says," Can't talk now. Need to do it another time. Call back."

One must always have hope.

cwmac... don't panic. FOCUS on YOU. You are the ONLY one you control.

Cali

PfaF
Sorry I didn't mean to hijack your thread. Was upset. Again, sorry.

cwmac

cwmac tmcm

I understand how you feel. I ride the rollercoaster too. It's damn near impossible to focus when your world is crumbling around you. But it's the only way to get better. You HAVE TO send yourself positive reinforcement. It sound overly simplified but it's true. Teach yourself. Learn how to send that deamon that's chasing you right back where it belongs.

What works the best for me is when I find those thoughts coming on, I'll stop whatever it is I'm doing and do something positive for myself or someone else. Anything big or small, doesn't matter, as long as it's positive and it causes you to refocus.

We're all trapped in a frame of mind that will ruin what's left if we don't do something about it. Don't mask your thoughts, change them. Don't drown them in whatever your drug of choice may be. Refocus.

This is the most difficult thing I will ever do in my lifetime (I hope). I will survive it and so will you. How you come out of it is your choice. I plan to come out a winner.

HI
I just found this site today. Google searched and found you. An answer to prayer. My spouse had an emotional affair with his co-worker. He confessed because I suspected and found proof online email. Love poems to her. Now He confessed in only kissing her. We had problems but I was begging him to come with me for help and he refused. He says the 'emotional' affair was very short in duration and she means nothing to him. It supposedly took place last year. I found out 5 mo. ago and am still bleeding inside. We are in christian counseling. He has repented. But he still has secret email addy he won't give me the passwords to (he says he's protecting me from further hurt). The love poem I found was written 5 mo. ago. Supposedly he wrote it on a whim and never intended giving it to her. And to top it off, he says 'it wasn't an emotional affair...just a stupid thing I did." How can trust exist if there is no truth? THanks, Kathy