I have discovered this amazing format for asking advice from people who have been where I have, and hope someone can help me. My H had a EA and because I was so hurt by this, I ended up with OM. This has all happened over the last few years, and we are well on our road to recovery. My question is, how do I get back the passion with my H? I am starting to love my H again, but I don't desire him. I still find myself thinking about the OM. My H hurt be so badly, I find it very difficult to trust him again. Will the passion come back when the trust comes back?

It sounds like you are still in the "fog" that comes with having an affair. It's where common sense flys out the window when thoughts of the other person crosses your mind. Everything pales in comparison to what you had with the other person. I call the fog a fantasy mode where you are still emotionally tied to the fantasy of what you had with the other person.

Recovering while still in the fog is very difficult at best. There are things that you can do to help clear the fog. When you think of OM, don't just remember to good stuff about him. Force yourself to recall his flaws and the things that you didn't like about him and the bad feelings that came from your affair with OM.

Intimacy is hard to restore. There are some very helpful articles on this site that explain the stages of a relationship and how to regain that intimacy. Passion can be restored, but not so long as you are still comparing your husband to your memories of OM. Read all you can from this site.