I have been married 16 years, I have 2 girls a 9 yr old and a 5 yr old, I have been a stay at home spouse for much of the last 9 years, my daughters 1st 2 years, I quit work to take care of her, my wife has and always will make more money,
for the last 7 years i have worked part time graveyard shift on weekends fri,sat,sun..
my wife has worked weekdays, i take care of the kids mon thru fri, take and pick up from school, any activities dance, basketball, i have always been with my children. for the last 6 months things have been very cold from my wife, she says she hasn't loved me for years, even hates me......., went to a counsilor 3 times last summer
he said she was burnt out and did not give me much hope, ok........ tried new counsilor last week even worse, she met with us for about 15 min
and told my wife it sounds like she has been drifting for 17 yrs, that she needed to see a lawyer, my wife said that she didn't know what to do get me to leave, counsilor said it is simple just file for divorce.......
when we left, my wife said we just need to find a different counsilor, ( my wife is in the 3rd stage, ** withdrawl **
so last week i discovered this site, marriage builders,,,,,,,,,,
read thru the material, read it to my wife, even talked about going to the seminar in san francisco..... thought we had finally found the right solution,,
anyway......... today........ i worked last night
came home, at 7 am, wife had already gone to work, early meeting???????? her mom was there with the kids, so i took the kids to school,...
went home at got a few hours sleep, went to pick up my 5 yr old at school at 3 pm and was met out front by her teacher, she said my child was not there that her mom picked her up,,,she never picks her up,,,,,,, also said that my wife was going to be serving me papers........
got home my 9 yr old had also been picked up......
find out that restraining orders are trying to be served to me, not served yet, i have not opened the door, have not heard from my wife have no idea where they are, my daughter has a basketball game at 0830 in the morning and i am supposed to take her....... my wife said she had a class to get a gun permit, that she couldn't go.......
needs gun to protect herself.....................

what do i do........

all her family lives here, oregon, all mine lives 2000 miles away.........
I am sitting here not knowing what to do,,,,,things seemed to be looking up....... had wanted to spend the alone time with her, the time we have not had for 10 years,,,,and then this
happens.......

Robert

sorry just realized that i was in the infidelity forum, don't really need that forum but please feel free to respond

Robert4 --

You are welcome here with us at MB. I'm so sorry for your very obvious pain and bewilderment. I'm glad that you've found us; we'll help you all we can.

Actually, this JFO forum is a good place to be. These events and traumas are relatively new in your life (since summer) and certainly these recent bizarre developments from W are puzzling and disturbing.

How lost you must feel not knowing where your daughters are or even where your wife is. Perhaps by this time you have learned their whereabouts. Your children are too young to be uprooted from their home.

Hard to tell what's going on with your wife. What could she have said about you to justify a restraining order? Why would your daughter's teacher tell you about it? Strange.

Gotta say that both your counselors should be taken out and shot. Get rid of 'em. Why bother to be in practice if that's all they could think of to say. And how destructive! You do need another counselor--but a GOOD one this time.

Robert, please post again and let us know how you're coping--you have to hang in there--and what you've learned since your first post. Weekends are usually slow on the board but some of us die-hards are around. We are concerned for you and know how much you're hurting. We're here for you...

Ammon

It is now 17 hours since my life has turned upside down, still have not heard from wife or kids....... my 9 year old has a basketball game in about 1 hour.......im the 1 who takes my kids to games..... what do i do......do i go....if i do.... i need to find her jersey.......if i go they probably won't be there.......or maybe the cops will ( im one....) will be there to serve me the restraining order....... will someone please move the cement truck that ran me over yesterday.......how could she take the kids like this?????????????????

GET A LAWYER! You're hiding isn't helping. You need to see what your W has said in her RO, the extent of it. What you're doing right now is only avoiding what is going to happen.

I don't know what's going on in your W's head, nor your's really. I don't know if your marriage can be or should be saved. But right now...today...began dealing with what has happened.

There "SHOULD" be some sort of excuse/reason that she was able to get a court RO...IF...she has done so. If it was gotten under false facts, you need to begin preparing to defend yourself.

You have rights here as your children's father...since you are in a law enforcement profession, I assume you should know some good lawyers in your area...find one today!

Good Luck!

Robert,

Go find a lawyer and then go to the police. You already know from the teacher that something very bad is up. Get very very good representation and advice right NOW. Call the police and tell them your children are missing. They will do nothing because there are no orders in place unless your W has indeed filed such orders.

I suspect there well may be an affair involved if not something worse.

Go now and do this.

God Bless,

JL