I need advice everyone. I found out my husband has been looking at naked men online and actually carried on conversations with one man through IM'ing him. He says he's sick and doesn't know why he has these feelings. I asked him to move out while we resolve this issue. and he did. He went to church this morning and talked with the minister at the church about his problems, he asked me to go talk to the minister too, I agreed. He's upset with me because I won't let him move back in(he's only been gonelike 2 days) until we go through counseling and I gain my trust back and have no doubts in mymind that he will eventually leave me for a man. Has anyone ever had a situation like this? I don't know what to do . I took my vows very seriously when I married him and I love him with all of my heart but how can I get past this? How can I trust him again? How can I be sure he's not going to keep lying to me and do this again? We have a 3 year old daughter and I don't want to put her threw not seeing her daddy but I don't know what to do. Any advice is greatly appreciated. thanks

<small>[ January 31, 2005, 03:05 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

Hi - I know EXACTLY how you feel. I found out in September my husband was doing the same thing. He actually took it one step further and met one person. Luckily, things didn't go as far as they could have. We have been seeking counseling since then and have been working very very hard to get through this. My husband, like yours, says he has no clue why these feelings have cropped up. Fortunately for me, his experience when he met the man did not prove to be what he thought it would and he was quite mortified. We have been married for sixteen years and have been together for 21 years. I was shocked beyond shocked when this happened to me and continue on my road to regaining my trust and getting my security back. I did not ask my husband to leave, I chose to have him stay and work through this together as he wants our marriage. We have boundaries though. He is not allowed on the computer at all, only at work if necessary and he isn't allowed to travel for his job until things are worked out and I am feeling more trustworthy.

Sorry - ran out of room. We have found an excellent counselor that has proved to be wonderful for us. She is the ONLY one who knows about our situation. I'm sorry you are hurting, but I'm so glad that I now know someone who is experiencing the same thing. I would love to chat with you further. If you are interested, we can email privatly off the boards if you would like. Let me know.

Hi Kelli38,
I tried to send you a private message but it won't let me, but I would be happy to have someone to e-mail to. You can e-mail me @ akendall78@yahoo.com

Tlaking to someone who has been through this would be wonderful. I go to my first counseling session tomorrow.

Just wanted to you to know that I emailed you privately...finally, a response! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Talk to you soon!