I am new to MB and thought My husband and I were in recovery. I posted a topic on denial(his)and distrust(mine). He has revealed to me that he met a woman online on 1-10-03 Since then I have felt just about every emotion imaginable. After he had time to realize just what he could lose,he told me he would have no contact with the OW. Still swears to it. My problem is I don't believe him. Part of me wants to and move on with my life, but part of me keeps digging for some kind of damning evidence. I got rid of yahoo instant messaging(which he used to talk to her on)but I know he can download it at any time. I was on the computer today and downloaded it myself and when he came up on my buddie list he had mobile messaging. When I confronted him he of course denied it. Does any one know anything about yahoo instant mobile messaging and how it works? Am I just searching for the truth or am I being crazy????? Anyone? Please help!

I'm assuming that Yahoo is the same as MSN which we have. It means that if someone has your name in their lists of contacts, they can send an instant message to your phone. If the person is offline or online then they right click on the name and with msn it give you the option if they have mobil messaging set up, if mobil messaging has not been set up, then it's not an option given.

Am not for sure how your H could undo it, but do know that he can go into his account and change it or discontinuing that service. He did have to set it up! Sorry! The only way it could be set up by someone else is if they knew his password and the information needed for the phone part. I've never set up mine...but H has his set up.

The sad fact is, that he's likely not being completely honest about his past actions. This is NORMAL. Right after the WS is confronted, they are running scared, don't want to admit anything they can avoid admitting in a misguided attempt to "protect" you from further pain, and to protect their own sweet @$$.

This discovery does NOT mean that he is still in contact with her...but it does mean that she MIGHT still be in contact with him. As to what his reaction to this might be, only he can tell you. It's possible that he hasn't heard a word from her and he's staying strickly in NC. Just because there used to be a way to contact each other, doesn't mean that they are using it today.

It's possible that he is still in contact with her...this is one of the hardest areas to prove or disprove. Keep your eyes and ears open...you'll discover what is the truth.

Since you do have access to his Yahoo account, and hopefully the needed information on his phone...just go in yourself and make whatever changes you need to so that it is disabled.

Good Luck!

Hi Just a wifey, Thank you for responding to my plea for help. I just about ruined my day yesterday looking for I don't know what. I have many trust issues from my past. I grew up with drug addicted parents who promised over and over that they would stop using drugs. I know alot stems from my past and I too don't think I could ever trust any human being 100%. As for my H, he got home and we talked and I tried something else on the computer and realized I was dead wrong. (How stupid did I feel) As for now I plan to trust the best that I can. And try to remember that he is not my parents. He only did this one time(that I know of) and has promised to never do it again. He say all he cares about is us. I have to at least try to trust him again. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all go back to thinking our WS's were perfect and trust like we once did. I guess that would be a perfect world. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Glad it was a misunderstanding! They do indeed happen. I know I often when looking for "God knows what", I'd find something I couldn't explain and get upset. Then H would come home, in a very reasonable, shaking head sort of way, explain away my unfounded fears. Computers are fun, but they can sure mess with your head/heart when you're not very informed about them.

Good Luck!