I just found out my partner of 16 yrs has been having an affair of 5 years.She phoned to tell me 14.02.03.She might as well blown my head off.He hates her for doing that and said he had finished it last November but the phone account tells the truth.He say he loves me and it was a bad mistake that got out of control.For 5 yrs?He has lie so well I cant beleive I was so stupid.I was way to trusting and never cheecked up on him.I now know what was happening to us over that period.I feel detrayed and tormented and which I Knew what was Happening sooner.He is relived I know as he said he has felt as if he had to run away from me because he was so guilty.We live on a horse stud and he has basicaly left me to run things,this is a very big job.I have breed many horses for us and set up a second business for H to work.I thought it was just us and us only,we had bad fights and thought that is was the presure from all the work,that is true but not on his part.I feel every thing I have worked for is just a big lie and to top it of we are in one of the worst droughts in Australia,so money was the issue until his girlfriend informed me of what he was up to.He says he will never do it again and loves me to death.He has always accused me of sleeping with any one who crosses my path,and this has always shocked me as I have always been loyal to in evey way.This alone should have told me, but I had always thought he was up to something,but always thought he was to strong for that to happen to us.We have cryied together and told each other how much we have missed each other.Things went ok for a few days, but when I woke today it has all hit me.I dont know if I can live in the shadow of his affair.I love him so much,that the pain of what has happened my have done the damage.Now I cant even look at him,I have gotten out of bed tonight just so I can cry,and may be get some help.If I go we will have to sell every thing as he cant do it by him self.We have a daughter just in high school,she is a great girl, her life has changed too, finding it hard to understend.cheers gai

So sorry to hear your pain and do feel it with you.

MB is a good place to start , there will be more people along to give you some words of wisdom .

Just wanted to start you off by saying , don't make any decisions with anything . Get help see a prfessional and go with your emotions cry when you want you will go through feelings all different ones like waves crashing all through you .

Read as much as possiable and take your time .

Take care of YOU ,YOUR health . Give your self room to think .
Vent as much as possiable post here and if there is someone close to you ,you can lean on do so but you need support and understanding right now.

Tell your H how you feel and don't hide what your going through it is a greving prosess .

Be Well ,stay strong.

lovesick-

Just wanted to let you know that everything you're feeling is completely understandable and normal given the circumstances. I think you're wise to get some outside help as this sort of thing is very difficult to handle on your own. Just take care of yourself and don't try to figure everything out at once. If your H is sincere in working on things, your M could be better than you ever imagined. Good luck and god bless!