About two years ago - my wife and I had decided (rather SHE had) that we would stop with two kids, although I would have like to have had another one or two.

One day we were both home from work early, the kids were still at school/daycare, and she went for a walk. When she came back in, she said that she wanted to try to have another baby. So we "tried" right away. We use condoms for birth control.

For some background - we had been having serious problems for several years. Our relationship is not intimate at all. She had never pursued sex since marriage - only to get pregnant, and she had been treating me like a horny, dirty adolescent for wanting to make love to her.

I got so tired of this that I decided (unbeknownst to her) to stop pursuing sex. Then if she ever wanted to do it I would reject her to show her what it feels like. I was successful for about three weeks.

So, back to where she came in from her walk. I weakened and had sex with her, happy that at least maybe we would get another baby out of the deal.

The next day - I looked forward to doing it again with her. Bedtime came and she didn't bring it up. I asked her - what about having another baby? And she just said "I changed my mind". This hurt me deeply - but I had to live with it.

She has never brought up the subject of babies again - nor has she even come close to pursuing any lovemaking.

I tried to talk to her twice about this in the past year, and she just acts like I am not there.

How does this look to all of you?

A lot like my marriage before my wife's affair - and btw, I wanted one even though she was the one who had one. If I could go back to that time, and do something different, the thing I would do is buy His Needs, Her Needs by Harley and ask her to read it together with me, making sure to go through the questions at het end of the chapters. If she was unwilling to do that, I would try to do a Plan A (no, Plan A is not just for infidelity, it is also to coax a withdrawn spouse out of withdrawal - and your W is emotionally withdrawn from you.)

Something else that will really help you and help put the whole Emotional Needs thing in context is to read through the Basic Concepts section of this site. Pay attention to the Love Busters section, in particular, and if you want to know more about that, buy that book, too.