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Well there is the obvious... you have the world's most perfect (and my favorite) food in your name!
I thought it was interesting that you met your H on nearly the same day I moved in with mine (11-12-97)
And that you were separated for three months.... we were too...
I was wondering about the rest of the story. A I assume? Interesting that you are separated again, did he move out or is a continuation of the A? Is the D going fwd or on hold?
Oh, and our member numbers are nearly identical.... of by 2 digits. We must have been signing up at nearly the same moment in time!
Whereabouts in the TC are you? We're on the eastern edge... WI actually. But we really do spemd much of our time either driving past or at the mall.
I was in uptown last week, and in fact will be again tomorrow.
C
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Hi Cerri, I've read a lot of your posts and I was so thrilled to see that you have become a coach. I work between Uptown (5mins away from Hen & Lake ) and Saint Louis Park and live in Golden Valley. We were separated due to his drinking and staying out after work, complete disregard for my feelings. I later found out lying and deciet was going on as well. During the separation ( possibly before also ) some one night stands and the general being let out of the cage, chasing women stage occured. The separation itself was only 3 months, during which I think he tended to more than one woman. After getting back together, he stoped going to the bars as far as I know, but the general disregard/irresponsible behavior continued. He wanted to live by his own rules/spend what he wants, as well as plan his own recreational time, etc. Anything different would mean I was trying to "control him" I had asked him to move out in May and filed for D. Its not final yet. For the first 3 months after this separation he acted extremly angry and finally broke into a tirade of insults and threats. I got an OP against him and haven't communicated with him since. He was ordered to do supervised visitations, which he refused so now he doesn't see the baby. LAtest I heard he found a new woman to soothe his wounds, quit his job and she is paying his bills. Thats a short version of my story, the long drawn out one is more painfull.
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Now where have you read my posts you sneaky lurker?? LOL
I LOVE being a coach. Well, except for when I cry over everyone's pain, but the planning and helping and motivating I love. My brothers find it so hilarious that people now pay me to tell them how to live their lives..... I tortured them as children so they really were my training ground!
So since the latest separation and filing he hasn't shown any interest in the marriage or your child? That is very sad, I'm so sorry.
Affairs in the first year of marriage are a really bad indicator. I always hold out hope until the bitter end, but it certainly is a tough case. I suppose he's not paying child support either?
Any thoughts on your part of trying to see if he's interested in changing things? Anger issues are really difficult to deal with, but it can be done. At 35 he might be ready to rethink his life. Any support from his family? For you and the baby I mean.
Be sure to bring pics of the baby to lunch next week!!
C
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Thank you Cerri for your support. Men make a perfect training ground, dont' they, ha, ha. I know because I have a cousin, who has a lot of broken bones because of me. Are coming to lunch next week? Thats great, I'll bring the pics of the baby. No, he hasn's shown anything but anger towards me. He doesn't see the cheating during the separation as cheating. I don't have much hope, I think to his women are a replacable commodity. After all I am his 3rd wife, not counting the one night stands and GF's.
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P.S. No, he is not paying support, as a matter of fact he says "She is using the baby to get $$ out of me" and playing a victim to his GF I am sure. He hasn't seen the baby for a while now, his only chance to see him is through supervised visits and he flat out refuses so the court closed the file on the visits issue. I wish things could be different, I do want to stay married but I can't endure this kind of pain. There are too many things wrong and he will only make a half hearted effort. He had the opportunity to speak with Dr Harley free of charge, it was like pulling teeth out of him to get him to talk to him. In his words "I dont want to call him, he'll talk my ears off"
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Going home now to eat some chocolate, talk to you soon. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> BTW What are you doing in Uptown tommorow?
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Like Water For Chocolate: <strong>Going home now to eat some chocolate, talk to you soon. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> BTW What are you doing in Uptown tommorow?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'll be at Tatu's by Kore getting my long planned for and awaited tattoo. LOL It's only been just a little short of a year that I've been planning to get there. Of course it took that long to decide what I wanted.... now if only I knew for sure where to put it....... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> After that, I need to find my daughter and meet her somewhere for lunch. She works in Bloomington... I think.... could be Edina... anyway, she's going to Las Vegas this weekend and I have a swimsuit she wants to take along. So it's lunch and the great swimsuit exchange! Oh, and after that I think it will definitely be time for M&M's!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> C
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Like Water For Chocolate: <strong>P.S. No, he is not paying support, as a matter of fact he says "She is using the baby to get $$ out of me" and playing a victim to his GF I am sure. He hasn't seen the baby for a while now, his only chance to see him is through supervised visits and he flat out refuses so the court closed the file on the visits issue. I wish things could be different, I do want to stay married but I can't endure this kind of pain. There are too many things wrong and he will only make a half hearted effort. He had the opportunity to speak with Dr Harley free of charge, it was like pulling teeth out of him to get him to talk to him. In his words "I dont want to call him, he'll talk my ears off"</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ahhhhh.... third wife, that explains a lot. Yes, by that time either they decide to settle down and make this one work, or they get even more into the throw away wife syndrome. But one more eerie coincidence... I too am a third wife! How on earth did you wriggle a chance to talk to WH? That's almost unheard of these days, unless you call the radio show, and then you get about 5 minutes and not his best attention. Do you have an order for child support so that if he gets a job in the future you can enforce it? MN has great laws for getting it withheld from the parent's pay. You are right though, until and unless he shows some willingness to make an effort, there isn't much more you can do. I'll spare you my lecture on doing Plan A for too long.... I'm sure you've read it many places. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Have you talked to WH yourself? What did he suggest? Hoping to make it for lunch.... life with kids is always an adventure with all kinds of unexpected fun! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> C
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OK, sorry, not trying to thread hop but I am usually lurking about. Cerri what is your tatoo going to be? I also hope both of you can make it on the 12th.
STTSI
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Still Trying To Save It:
<strong>OK, sorry, not trying to thread hop but I am usually lurking about. Cerri what is your tatoo going to be? I also hope both of you can make it on the 12th.
STTSI</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Too funny!! Ok, well it's the Inanna Goddess shape/figure with a spiral on her belly and some other pretty colors and spirals. It's been evolving for a year, so if I don't do it soon I'm going to look like "Scary Guy" and have a tattoo that covers most of my body! Ack!!
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by cerri: But one more eerie coincidence... I too am a third wife![QUOTE] Ouch, its too many coincidences, are we somehow connected in a mysterious cosmic way? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Maybe we even look alike, wouldn't that be scary? Are you blond or brunette? [QUOTE]Originally posted by cerri:How on earth did you wriggle a chance to talk to WH? That's almost unheard of these days, unless you call the radio show, and then you get about 5 minutes and not his best attention.[QUOTE] I'll tell you but it will cost you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> [QUOTE]Originally posted by cerri:Do you have an order for child support so that if he gets a job in the future you can enforce it? MN has great laws for getting it withheld from the parent's pay.[QUOTE] I do and he already owes me $2,600, he might be working under the table. [QUOTE]Originally posted by cerri:Have you talked to WH yourself? What did he suggest?[QUOTE] Yes, many times and he was helpful but as he notes now almost every time we talked I cried. I am much better now. He wasn't extremly hopefull though.
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Ouch, its too many coincidences, are we somehow connected in a mysterious cosmic way? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Maybe we even look alike, wouldn't that be scary? Are you blond or brunette?Well simply the chocolate thing makes us cosmically connected!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Uhhhh.... would you believed striped? Naturally blonde, but then I added brown stripes, and now it's mostly dark blonde a little brown and one or 2 lighter stripes. Oh, and a hot pink braid.(I refuse to look like an adult) I'll tell you but it will cost you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Spill it girlie..... I'll owe ya! I do and he already owes me $2,600, he might be working under the table.That really burns me. My dad never paid c/s so I'm really an advocate of doing whatever it takes to collect. I once worked for a place as a pt bookkeeper. One of the guys in the shop was in a messy dv and they wanted me to pay him some in cash and show that he earned less than he really did. I told them there was no way I would do that, so the owner said he would take care of it. I walked out and never went back. C: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by cerri:Have you talked to WH yourself? What did he suggest?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Yes, many times and he was helpful but as he notes now almost every time we talked I cried. I am much better now. He wasn't extremly hopefull though.Ok, now you really need to tell me the whole story! C
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by cerri:
<strong>[QUOTE]Ok, well it's the Inanna Goddess shape/figure with a spiral on her belly and some other pretty colors and spirals.
C</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have no idea what the goddess looks like, sorry. My MIL does tatoos, maybe she could do your and then you could tell her all about A's and how they affect the BS. Also, maybe tell her the virtues of honesty.
Nah, probably not a good idea for you to lecture her while she has sharp needles.
Anyway, will it be done for next week? Do you have a pic of it?
STTSI
OK, now I will bow out of your thread.
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Agh, the dreaded double post!
<small>[ March 04, 2003, 04:17 PM: Message edited by: Still Trying To Save It ]</small>
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Still Trying To Save It: <strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by cerri: <strong>[QUOTE]Ok, well it's the Inanna Goddess shape/figure with a spiral on her belly and some other pretty colors and spirals. C</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have no idea what the goddess looks like, sorry. My MIL does tatoos, maybe she could do your and then you could tell her all about A's and how they affect the BS. Also, maybe tell her the virtues of honesty. Nah, probably not a good idea for you to lecture her while she has sharp needles. Anyway, will it be done for next week? Do you have a pic of it? STTSI OK, now I will bow out of your thread.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">And you don't have the internet to look it up???? LOL Yes she is done and she is beautiful!!! And I have one word to say about the experience.. . . . . OW!!!! Well, ok I have a lot more to say, as anyone whose ever read my stuff knows.... one word won't do it! It was pretty cool, and pain is a great way to achieve an altered state of conciousness! C
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by cerri: <strong>[QUOTE]and pain is a great way to achieve an altered state of conciousness! C</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ROFLMAO <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> OK, fine I will look it up on the net. STTSI
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Still Trying To Save It: <strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by cerri: <strong>[QUOTE]and pain is a great way to achieve an altered state of conciousness! C</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ROFLMAO <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> STTSI</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hey! I was serious about that!!! I was so buzzy when I left there driving was most interesting!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Here's the link to the best I could find.It's a pretty universal Inanna figure. This was part of the inspiration for the artwork Kore did. Mine's prettier! C
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by cerri: Ok, now you really need to tell me the whole story! C[/QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Oh, not much to tell really, he just kept saying I should continue to complain to let my H know whats bugging me. I got tired and felt old, I didn't like having to go over the same thing and eventually ended up feeling hopeless, been there, done that and realized to some extent it will remain the same for the rest of my marriage. That didn't make me happy at all. But I'll tell over lunch if you want to know more. Harley is my guru, he is awsome. I'll even share a secret with you at lunch. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Like Water For Oh, not much to tell really, he just kept saying I should continue to complain to let my H know whats bugging me. I got tired and felt old, I didn't like having to go over the same thing and eventually ended up feeling hopeless, been there, done that and realized to some extent it will remain the same for the rest of my marriage. That didn't make me happy at all. But I'll tell over lunch if you want to know more. Harley is my guru, he is awsome. I'll even share a secret with you at lunch. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No suggestion of Plan B? That seems odd. Yes I know he is awesome! And after seeing him and Joyce together and hearing them twice weekly on the radio.... I have a suspicion about who has whom around her little finger!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> A secret!?!?!?!? Oh...... can't you like email to me???/ <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> I hafta wait a whole week? What if I get sick???? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> C
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