When I found out about my wife's affair 2 weeks ago I left a message on the guys cell phone saying that, he'd 'better make her happy or I'd hurt him.' Was that wrong?

I really love my wife, but for her to enter into an affair with a single guy 11 years her junior when we have four children seems crazy. Since she wasan't thinking clearly, I thought that I could sober him up.

I wanted to save my family and I wanted this guy to consider what he was involved in; the break up of a 16 year old marriage, the break up of a family of 6 and the emotional well-being of a woman longing for attention.

Was he really ready for this? Was he just having fun? Was he just over his head?

I guess he had a change of heart BECAUSE not he changed his cell number and has had no cantact with my wife at all for over a week. She's wrestling with her fellings for him while trying to repair the damage to are family.

Did I do a bad thing?

No you did not, in fact what you did was the right thing to do because it brought forth the affair to the light of day. The OM probably (like most OM) just wanted to have sex with a married woman (the forbidden fruit) and now that he knows that you know about him and your W, he will probably do his best to disassociate himself from your W. So rest easy and know that you did the right thing.

i agree too.this man was interfearing in your marriage.you had every right to confront him.recovery isn't possible as long as op is still around.so you accomplished the first step.now you can move on.

i think that the WS lies to the OP just as much as to the BS.i got a doog feeling that my wifes OM didn't realize i was still in the picture ,fighting for the marraige until i confronted him.he knew i exsisted but he was told she was ending the marriage.so i wasn't an issue.in her mind i didn't care anymore.

for your wife,be patient.she will have a withdrawl period and feelings of abandonment from him.she will see it as he dumped her.and probably blame it on you.she may even chase after him.but she will eventrually she him for what he is and was.

i told OM similar thing as you did.he was rather stuned.afcourse i just had to add in the fact that she had kids and he would have to provide for them,and she had alot of bills in her name that he would need to help out with.oh and he would need a bigger house.now that he would be a family man.i wasn't lieing.i just gave him a reality check.guess he wan't ready for reality!

Bigthinka,

I had to smile after reading your post. I emailed the OM in my case to give him a jolt. No overt threats, mind you, but I think it got his attention just fine. I think OP that go after married people are often loathsome and cowardly individuals, and showing the light of day on them often causes them to scurry around like the rats they are. I also think you did the right thing.

3XL

i think it was a wonderful idea !!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />