My wayward husband is a trucker and I just recently found out about an affair with a woman in another state. For the last couple of weeks he has told me that he doesn't know what he wants and feels. He tried ending it right after I found out, but she called his cell number and he couldn't resist. So they have talked about 3 times in last week. He admitted last nite that she has told him she "loves" him and he said that he made a "knee jerk response" and said it back to her. That revelation was a couple of months ago. It totally explains the explosion of his January cell phone use.

After our conversation last nite (all of this while he is driving in another state by the way) I then confronted him and said that I needed to know if he had already made a decison regarding our relationship and if he was just "feeding me bits/pieces because he didn't have the guts to tell me the truth" and he said yes. He then stated that he hasn't been attracted to me for about the last 3 years. He said he loves me, but it's because I am the mother of his children and that is the only reason he comes home because of them. He doesn't feel that he loves me like a husband should love a wife. I was so hurt and it feels like he has ripped out my heart and ran it over with his semi. I said that I didn't belive that because even though our relationship has been rocky the last couple of years, I feel in my heart that he does truly love me (because of events that have been happy) but he doesn't really know how to handle the changes in our marriage. Not to mention the fact that his judgement has been clouded by her for the last year.

He states that he does not want to divorce me because financially it would mean suicide for us at this point (I am a fulltime nursing student) but he feels as though a separation would be the best. I said that I would NOT agree to a separation (I am NO FOOL)until he breaks it off with her (he claims he does not want to be with her either) and goes through the withdrawal process. Then after she is out, maybe we can do a realistic truthful look at our marriage. I don't believe in making rash decisions when emotions are running so high and right now they are really high!!

Can anyone relate? This is so hard for me because I don't see him but maybe 2 days a week and everything we discuss is over the phone. I can't see his face or his body language. I secretly pray that he will come to his senses and realize that she did tear us apart and that what we had once was good.

Thanks so much for reading...I can't believe how much this hurts...I just want to curl into a ball
and die.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Hopefulgirl:
<strong>Can anyone relate?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Only about 99.9% of the BSs and former WSs on this forum.

Very, very, very typical behavior.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He then stated that he hasn't been attracted to me for about the last (fill in the blank) years.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Right out of the WS script.

Tell me if I'm right? He's also at one time described their relationship as "just friends" and he's also told you "I love you, but I'm not in love with you"?

At least, something close, right?

Read all you can here in that extra time you have and get busy on your Plan A.

You are not alone, by a long shot.

I just wanted to stop in and say you are so not alone. Read SAA and start plan A. Eveything your WS says is exactly what mine said just like the 100's others. This fog they are in is horrible for us the BS. Just wanted to give you some {{{{Hugs}}}} Be good to you. You are going to have a long rough road ahead before you hit some smooth pavement. Eat good, get sleep, and exercise. Get on plan A, and read read read.