I read on Dwilliam's thread that H is willing to read His Needs/Her Needs....You must have talked to H about what's going on...at least on some level! GREAT!

I do know that the excitement of the beginning of an A is just that...exciting. Learning about someone new, discovery of how someone thinks and feels...oh those heady days. But, we did have that with our spouses. When we first met, it was just as exciting and just as thrilling. We all put on our best "face", showing only those aspects about ourselves we are proudest of...then we discover a safe "place" one where it's going to be "ok" to be ourselves, show our weaknesses, our faults, our clay feet.

If a married couple would only put half the energy and thought into their marriage that an affair entails when we're feeling a little distance...most marriages wouldn't falter.

But...we do feel safe, we do take our spouses for granted at times. I don't really think this is a bad thing, as if we can't depend and take our spouses for granted somewhat, we don't have a very safe place to live...but if taken to extreems and we forget to show just how much we do appreciate the finer points of our spouse...we stumble.

Try keeping your focus on the fine points of your spouse...try to not ignore but to downplay those areas which he needs to improve. It's like looking at a long, wide wall which has a small "spot" on it...if we focus on the spot, then all we see is the marring of the wall...but if we step back and focus on the whole wall...the spot fades (and it never hurts to take a cleaning brush to the "spot" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ).

Glad you and H are talking! That's always the best step.