B&VS I am so sorry about your latest update.

Forgive me for saying this but your WW's latest comments to you sound very much like a WS in an on going A. And seeing how easily your WW has fallen into A's, it really wouldn't be surprising if that is the case.

No amount of pleading, crying, or threatening will make her change her mind and it will only further make her want to leave you. Being needy will only repel her, but being strong and telling her that you love her and wish that she would reconsider, but if she is absolutely certain that she wants a divorce, that you won't stop her, she MAY think twice about being so hasty in wanting a divorce. Accept the fact that you have absolutely no control over her actions and you WILL be taking a very huge and important step towards recovery, personal if not marital.

Keep us posted.

<small>[ May 02, 2003, 02:50 PM: Message edited by: T00MuchCoffeeMan ]</small>

posted May 03, 2003 04:12 AM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks, CoffeeMan,

At least she is willing to try for a while and this is up to both of us.

At the moment I feel like I am on death row, but am being strong and trying not to let her see how I realy feel.

We are planning more nights out together and as friends (which we were before we got serious all those years ago) are getting on fine.

I just want her to see that 3 weeks away in the UK with family and friends advice may have made up her mind that life away from me would be so much better - she knows it would be hard on her own, although she would have so much support ... something I have not.

To be back here in the sun, with friends and a familiar environment .... and a husband who has forgiven her and is coping now without so much pain (apart from the cloud caused by the possibility of being without them) may help her change her mind.

She knows that I love her and although she says she does not love me - I reminded her that we went through this "falling out of love" before and managed to rekindle it and have a happy life together for years.

She says that the reason she is not in love with me is because she doesn't believe that anyone can have affairs and still love their partner - and anyone who can put their partner through what I have been through is living a lie and not worth having.

She is so ashamed of herself and can hardly look at me in the face.

I have offered to change jobs, location etc if it would help and this is for her to think about and us to discuss.

As for there being anyone else - she says that all the turmoil has put her off the thought of new relationships. If she had met someone at home she would not have been in so quick an agreement to stay on for 3 months to see what happens.

Our 3 year old daughter is so confused at the moment and does not like me out of her sight - she has been missing me so much whilst on holiday and I wonder how either of us could bear being apart.

I missed my other 2 daughters growing up and really hoped that I would have this second chance to be a good father.

6 weeks ago I was the happiest man on earth and now as I said I feel like I am sitting on death row - I dearly hope that my reprieve arrives as I dont know how I could cope without them.

Sorry to hear about your situation. I'm going to give you some advise with only your interests in mind .

1. The affair is her 100% her fault.

2. The manner in which she deceived you is especially reprehensible and disgusting.

3. She had unprotected sex with up to 4 men and the child may not be yours? I gotta tell you this is the biggest slap in the face. She had absolutely no respect, regard or concern for your dignaty and physical health.

4. Have a DNA test done immediately .

5. Have comprehensive STD testing for everyone including the child.

Summary . This woman who says she loved you deceived you , emasculated you in the manner in which she did it , probably crushed your self-esteem and confidence , may have given birth to another mans child and worst of all may have given you HIV , Hepetitis , Herpes or some other STD.

If the child is not yours you should seriously consider your potential future happines with someone who would not do this to you .

If the child is yours then you are going to have to either stay or try to get custody .

If you stay remember the Onus is on her to prove she has changed and she must regain your trust.

You have only one life and are entitled to happiness.

Good luck and God Bless.

<small>[ May 03, 2003, 12:00 PM: Message edited by: glk19 ]</small>

If the two of you haven't done so already, I highly recomend that both of you read all the Harley materiel on this website and read the books such as 'Surviving An Affair' 'His Needs Her Needs' and 'Love Busters'. Print out the EN and LB questionaires (just click on the links bellow my sig line) and fill them out.

It might be a good idea if you were to sit down and suggest to her that it's in both your interests to put an honest effort to attempt to save the marriage. If after a period of months, nothing changes for the better, then she can say to herself that the two of you gave it an honest try but that it was not to be. Remind her that there are two important recoveries, marital and personal. If the marital recovery is never achieved, the personal recovery will help both of you to move on with your lives without the ghosts of the dead marriage haunting both of you with regrets and speculation. And the way to do this is by BOTH of you following an MB oriented marital recovery plan. Contact the Harley's for telephone consultation ASAP.

Good luck and keep us posted.

<small>[ May 03, 2003, 12:54 PM: Message edited by: T00MuchCoffeeMan ]</small>

I was going to post this on a new thread but some of you might not tie in the whole story to my original circumstances.

My wife had previously very bravely confessed to a one-night-stand and then 3 previous affairs which were longer term.

Last night after months of cowardice, I owned up to my W about a one-night-stand I had about 3-4 months ago, before her last one.

The details are irrelevent as no matter the fact that it was a one-night-stand whilst travelling and I will never see the OW again, it WAS STILL INFIDELITY AND I WAS WRONG.

I should have owned up when she did but for some reason did not ..... I had other chances but every time I wanted to tell her I could not bring myself to do so.

I just don't know why I did not have the decency to tell her, but watching her going through the hell she was experiencing with her own guilt I could not bear to put her through it and eventually bucked up the courage to tell her.

She understandably exploded and told me that she and our daughter will now be leaving me asap to return to the UK for ever.

She is not so angry about my A as she is about the fact that I did not own up at the same time as she did .... WHY, WHY, WHY DIDN'T I TELL HER ?

There was absolutely no chance of her ever finding out but I have wanted to tell her ever since it happened.

There is no chance of any second chance for me and I feel so ashamed of what I did ... especially putting her though her guilt without divulging my own.

I didn't expect her to take it in any other way and am so wracked with my own guilt in doing it and not telling her before.

As soon as my "drunken fling" was physically over I was sick with horror at what I had done and immediately asked the girl to leave.

I advised my employers that I no longer wished to travel and have recently delegated an overseas trip to another manager.

This is the first and last time and I have no intention of repeating such a deed ... not that it matters now as I will lose them both.

I truly love my wife and this is why I am so giulty that I could do such a thing ... I did suspect some of her affairs but had no hard proof (only heresay from friends of mine and hers) and had no reason to do this.

I just cannot explain why I did not tell her before she went through her own guilt and have deceived my doctor, all of you and most importantly her.

I was just looking for the best time and now realise that there is no such thing.

When she was depressed I stupidly thought that my own confession would make it worse - I truly intended to tell her and last night just could not watch and listen to her hurting any more.

I am not expecting any sympathy at all and merely wish to apologise to all of you guys for not telling the whole truth to you.

Anyone who is in my position in the future, please be totally honest from day one ... both to your spouse and to this forum.

I have totally f****d up my life and it is my fault .... and now I have to live without my lovely wife and daughter.

There will be no reprieve and absolutely no chance of future recovery.

My daughter is sitting beside me so I will sign off, so that I can spend the last few days with her before they are both gone for ever.

Sorry to you and shamefully sorry to my lovely wife, who was truly making the effort to work on our shattered marriage up until last night.

Don't slag her off, as you have done in the past, guys as I amd every bit as bad as her ... doesn't matter how many times etc and I am even worse for leaving it so long.

If you are reading this N, I love you and will never forget you. If you ever decide to give me a second chance I will welcome you both back with open arms and a promise of total honesty in the future - xxx.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by coach3530:
<strong>BV&S,
i'm completely stupefied by your story! who can imagaine how horrible it must be to be married to such a faithless woman.

i'm agree with MLM2's assesment of the situation. sorry to have to say this to all you marriage builders out there but some marriages are just not worth saving and some H's/Ws are not worth keeping. and BV&S, sorry to say that it sounds to me like you have one of those!

and as an after thought, if any one out there wants to report me to the moderators around here for expressing my opinion then please feel free to do so! i'm almost as offended by some of the "holier then thou" folks who responses to this man's queries as i am by the acts off this poor man's wife. now go take that to the moderators why don't you?

coach</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I totally and completely agree....how could you POSSIBLY trust her again. I know there is no way in $#@*! I could....sorry about the cursing. Anyhow, there is way too much damage in your marriage for it to ever be healthy again in my humble opinion. Move on....there are plenty sweet, loving, beautiful woman available that would treat you like a king! Good Luck!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I just read your last reply.......You have GOT to be kidding me!!! She had multiple affairs and didnt tell ya till later when she felt the need. You hide ONE one night stand (which is wrong also).....she explodes because you held it back and now wants to leave!!! Are you freakin kidding me!!! Dude.....ITSOVER! I cant believe what Im reading....Im speechless. I gotta go. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

While it is true that you were wrong in having a ONS and not telling her when she confessed her A's, there is a stark difference between you and her, and that is that she is using your ONS as an excuse to not only to not work on rebuilding the M but to end it. You may want to read the following story for it may be of help to you:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That’s Fine With me! I Totally Agree!

Bob Preston of Minneapolis didn’t want his wife, Mandy, to divorce him, but she kept pushing him for a divorce all the time anyway. He always refused. He fought it any way he could. But every
time Mandy wanted to get her way in any situation, she’d pull out the old Divorce Ace and play it. Bob always caved in. He would do anything to prevent a divorce. His wife was acting like a real controlling monster, but he still loved her, and wanted to work things out. The problem was, she was making his life miserable. He was giving her the power by his constant refusal to consider divorce. But he was
beginning to see the writing on the wall. Sooner or later, he’d have to give into the divorce, if only to save his dignity and sanity. So one day during an argument over some financial matters,
Bob put his foot down. He wanted to do it his way, and that was final. Mandy, of course, played her ace. She brought up divorce.
Despondent, Bob finally said, “Fine, I totally agree! Let’s get a divorce.” Suddenly, Mandy was speechless. Bob had finally called her bluff. With one simple phrase, Bob had taken away her power over him. Now the ball was in her court. At first, Mandy said: “Good, let’s get a divorce then.” Bob said again:“Great. Let’s do it.” They left it there, and for several days, neither of them spoke of divorce again.

In the meantime, Mandy had let Bob get his way on the financial dispute they had argued about.
About a week later, another dispute came up. Again, Bob put his foot down. Again, Mandy tried to trump him with her divorce move. Again, Bob said: “Yes, I’ve already agreed to a divorce. Let’s get it started.” This time, Mandy dropped the subject and they didn’t talk about it again for almost two weeks. In the meantime, life went on.

Then one day, Mandy suddenly exploded in anger at Bob. She said: “I can’t believe you’re being so cavalier about getting a divorce! You used to do and say anything to keep us together! Now you act like you want a divorce!”
Bob said: “Mandy, I just want what you want. If you want a divorce, I’ll give you a divorce. If you don’t want a divorce, I’ll go along with that, too.”After this conversation, the subject of divorce never came up again. All of their problems didn’t magically go away, but now Mandy realized that her divorce demands no longer had any power over Bob. This forced her to find other ways to get what she wanted, and that usually meant compromise. But once the power of her divorce ploy had been called, it became clear to Bob that Mandy didn’t really
want a divorce either. With this realization, their marriage started to get better. If they weren’t going to get a divorce, then they had to
work things out.

What’s the moral of this story? Well, some psychologists call this negative suggestibility, but it’s really just good old reverse psychology.
Bob didn’t want a divorce, and by fighting the idea, he only made the idea stronger in Mandy’s mind. But once he started agreeing, she started wanting the opposite. What he did was to frustrate and diffuse her neurotic desire for
a divorce. Once the spell was broken -- by nonresistence to it -- the spell lost its power and the idea of divorce dissolved slowly away.
Will this work for you? And isn’t it risky? What if your spouse immediately agrees to a divorce? The fact is, the vast majority of the
time, when you start agreeing on anything, even a divorce, it forces both spouses to start thinking more deeply about divorce. Once it
becomes a real possibility, the idea all of sudden doesn’t seem so great. Yes, the spouse may agree to a divorce -- but that’s still a long
way from going through with it. And think about this: If resisting a divorce demand isn’t working, why not try the opposite? What have
you got to lose? You can be confident in the knowledge that agreeing to a divorce may be the best way of stopping it completely. It has
worked thousands of times for thousands of couples, so you might as well try it."</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Good luck and keep us posted.

After long discussion today it is all fixed.

I am to book their flights, my soon-to-be-ex wife will do the packing and arrange their freight back to the UK, her father will meet them and her cousin has offered them an apartment.

I have a few days with my little girl before we have to part .... don't know when I will see her as 5000km is a long way away and I have no vacation entitlement for 3 months.

She will probably forget me in no time as there is no way I can see her regularly like a real Daddy should ... perhaps twice a year when all I will be is a stranger - identified by her mother showing her a photo the day before I arrive.

I will miss her 3rd birthday.

So 15 years, all that love and my life will soon be gone.

Just want to spend what time I have left with my little angel before we are torn apart at the airport.

After that my life will be over.

If I had not been honest we would still be planning the future together ... now my wife is planning her future and I have no plans.

My wife has gone out with her friends tonight as she couldn't put up with my getting upset about them leaving ... so my first night without her.

Nothing short of a genie in a bottle will keep my lovely wife and beautiful little girl with me now.

Honesty was the best policy for her and I still respect her for this. Unfortunately it was not the case for me and now I have lost everything.

I forgave her but she is unable to forgive, knowing I did the same as her.

I still love my wife so much and cannot imagine life without her ... 3 weeks during her recent holiday was an eternity ... and now I will suffer a real eternity.

She is trying to be optimistic for me, saying that if she finds she has made a mistake maybe we can get back together one day ... dont think so as sure she will soon find a new man to take care of her and our daughter. A better husband and father than I could ever be.

Can't say any more .... just feel sick.

Contact an attorney ASAP and find out what your rights are. I do not beleive that you have no rights considering that you are a father. Even if she still has the right to take the child back to the UK, you still need to legally protect yourself from your WW from coming back and once again screwing your life personally and legally.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Blind&VeryStupid:
<strong>After long discussion today it is all fixed.

I am to book their flights, my soon-to-be-ex wife will do the packing and arrange their freight back to the UK, her father will meet them and her cousin has offered them an apartment.

I have a few days with my little girl before we have to part .... don't know when I will see her as 5000km is a long way away and I have no vacation entitlement for 3 months.

She will probably forget me in no time as there is no way I can see her regularly like a real Daddy should ... perhaps twice a year when all I will be is a stranger - identified by her mother showing her a photo the day before I arrive.

I will miss her 3rd birthday.

So 15 years, all that love and my life will soon be gone.

Just want to spend what time I have left with my little angel before we are torn apart at the airport.

After that my life will be over.

If I had not been honest we would still be planning the future together ... now my wife is planning her future and I have no plans.

My wife has gone out with her friends tonight as she couldn't put up with my getting upset about them leaving ... so my first night without her.

Nothing short of a genie in a bottle will keep my lovely wife and beautiful little girl with me now.

Honesty was the best policy for her and I still respect her for this. Unfortunately it was not the case for me and now I have lost everything.

I forgave her but she is unable to forgive, knowing I did the same as her.

I still love my wife so much and cannot imagine life without her ... 3 weeks during her recent holiday was an eternity ... and now I will suffer a real eternity.

She is trying to be optimistic for me, saying that if she finds she has made a mistake maybe we can get back together one day ... dont think so as sure she will soon find a new man to take care of her and our daughter. A better husband and father than I could ever be.

Can't say any more .... just feel sick.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I would only be upset about losing my daughter if I were you. You actually came clean with your ONS much sooner or faster than your WW came clean with hers. Why are you so hard on yourself? She screwed 4 guys brains out over the last few years and she twists it into making you feel guilty about coming clean. Cmon Blind....have some nuts! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

So tonight I have watched her contacting "friends" on web chat lines in our home locality, saying "back soon"

She says that she has no intention of meeting with them, so why tell them this ?

It hurts as she critcises my contacts with the MB website, saying that all the advice is from burnt BS's who are biased.

She has recently been back home with the support of her family and friends, who agree with her that we should part ... I have no-one and cannot comminicate with my family except by email as I cannot afford to take a break away fromm my work (and do not qualify for vacation for 2-3 months)

You rarely make friends with anyone sincere as an expat in another country, as most are out for themselves. I therefore cannot confide in anyone - lets face it, the ones with whom I have confided before had hidden agendas.

We had a such a fantastic night out tonight, discussing her staying on longer ... and even if she went home, that there might be a chance of us getting back together one day.

Tonight I managed to eat for the first time in 2 days as I felt so secure in discussing a possible extension to their leaving ... and now she has gone to sleep, telling me that she will be arranging freight of their belongings after the weekend. I have to arrange their air tickets.

Our house in the UK is on the market and will soon be sold to an interested buyer with a big profit. She says that she wants a 50/50 split of this money until a paternity test proves who is the father of our daughter.

It seems that any finacial difficulties she may face are worth it, just to get away from me. I will support them as I love them both.

All she now wants to talk about is the arrangements for future payment of endowment policies we have ... and not the fact that we could get back again.

She now tells me that all her sex with others was protected (previously said it was not), so I cannot understand why she told me that my daughter might not be mine.

She says that she does not want a paternity test carried out in this (moslem) country in case of complications (ie, the government placing our daughter in local care as she may be an Arab), and that I must return to the UK with them to sort it out.

We have recently had the best sex ever as friendly sex and she asked me why I had not been so good in the past, saying that she might not have strayed if I had been better before (all this when drunk).

I have truthfully told her that my "ONS" resulted in my not being able to "get it up" as I found that I could not do it with anyone else .... makes no difference as she now blames me as my ONS happened before her No4 - before which she had decided not to have any more affairs. I seem to have beaten her too it and that is why she cannot forgive me for what I have done .... the main reason being that I left my confession too long and watched her hurting and blaming herself (this I know and agree as wrong but I secretly knew that she would react this way .... I wanted to be honest but could not face it, knowing that she would react as she has done, but wanted to be honest as she had ... knowing that I could not actually "do it" because of my love for her)

I am not a Bill Clinton and regarded the intent to be as bad as actually doing it .. hense a sincere confession to her.

She asked me why I could not f**k the other girl and finds it quite funny, apart from my delay in confessing, which is the reason now for leaving me.

She says that if I had confessed at the same time as her, instead of putting her through her guilt, she might have felt differently.

I now just think that all she has told me is excuses and she has just used my confession as a "gate pass" away from me ... even though I could not carry through the sex act with anyone else but my W.

She can now hold her head high and tell her family that we are both as bad as each other.

I had it on a plate, but could not make love to another woman ... threw her out of the room with no explanation as to why.

So it is plain to me now that I have to just say goodbye to them and make a life without them.

It will be so hard.

Given the opportunity I just could not F**k another woman ... and I only know this is beacause I still loved her and could not do it (she finds this very funny)

Dont know how I am going to cope but she has just told me there is no going back.

Such is life .... I have lost both my parents, been **** on financially by my family regarding my fathers will (they are all now millionaires) and now by my second wife.

What a loser ...... is there any point in carrying on with this miserable life, just waiting for the next stab in the back ?

Some serious thinking to do about living.

Take it from somebody who was married to a serial cheater (your WW was a nun compared to mine), your pain will pass and you will meet a much better woman (like I have) who will show you the true meaning of love. For now, it's only natural to grieve the passing of a long marriage, but it to will pass (I know that for a fact).

Blind,

I want to vomit when I read your story. I have been through an equally, if not worse set of circumstances as you have. My wife has had multiple affairs...one garnering a child that is not mine. But I allowed her to stay due to the emotionaly fragility of our only child together who was grossly devastated when she left us when he was three to pursue a plethora of men.

QUIT BLAMING YOURSELF!!! It is NOT your fault that your wife can't control her immorality. It is disgusting and says a lot about her character.

After allowing my wife to continue living with us...after her two years of "fun"...guess what she did again last year...you got it...starting have sex with a guy she met on the Internet while our son and I were at Sunday worship.

I let her stay again. It was the BIGGEST mistake I have ever made. She is a nightmare to live with...it has NOTHING to do with me...and her gross conduct has NOTHING to do with you. THEY have surrendered their honor, their dignity to become perverts. I am no place to tell you what to do...but I can share this....if it were not for our only son...I would leave in a heartbeat. There is very little left to salvage after the perverted things our wives have done...in fact, in my viewpoint, there is nothing left. It will NEVER be the same...not when they do it AGAIN and AGAIN!!

Coffee :

I note your response and am aware from your previous posts of how you were hurt so badly. It is good that you have now found someone else and I hope that your previous experiences will not stop you from loving someone else in the way you both deserve.

All :

My situation is that I still love my wife so very much and this is why I forgave her. I still cannot understand why I could not tell her about my straying (even though the "act" did not happen it was still unforgivable of me) and prolonged things to hurt her.

I thought that her holiday would do us some good as she said that absence might make us miss each other. It is such a shame that it worked the other way with so many people being good to her and offereing assistance when she leaves me.

I know that they mean well and sure that my own family and friends back home would do the same for me, although I have not told any of them about our problems as I want us to sort them out ourselves without any influence from others.

She has now decided not to split up until the end of my daughter's school term so that we may all be together for my daughter's 3rd birthday in June. Maybe during this time some feelings may come back which might encourage us to try a bit longer to see what happens.

If we manage to sell our house I would like us to go on holiday together with our little girl, away from work/social pressures here and influences at home ... another country to just be together, chill out and enjoy some time away from work and all others (definately not going back to UK and getting involved in the usual round of visiting relatives and friends .. this is our usual holiday and it is not relaxing time together)

We did manage a week away last year on our own and it was so nice that we found each other again and she still says what a wonderful week it was.

We now have an offer on our UK house so hopefully money will become easier with no mortgage loan to pay etc.

We are good as friends and getting on fine ... no pressure and no bringing up the past. I can see that she has no feelings for me now, but maybe this will change. She fell out of love with me many years ago but I fought for her and we eventually fell in love again.

I hope that she does not think that I am making any superficial efforts as this is just not true ... I love her and also like her so much as a friend (we were good friends before we became lovers more than 15 years ago and have been through so many hard times since .. supporting each other) and I really do enjoy her company ... so there is no effort, just natural. The only thing that makes me sad is when she is not happy some days.

We have started going out more on our own to the cinema and doing things together at home in the evenings ... board games etc which we used to play and enjoy.

She knows that if she does leave me and realises that she has made a mistake, she can always come back ... I have told her this and mean it. After all these years (and so many happy memories as well in spite of the few bad ones) I could not even picture my being with anyone else.

Sure although I am 42 there might be interested women but no-one could replace my wife and daughter.

We had a terrible fright 2 days ago when our daughter fell into a swimming pool and nearly drowned ... thank god she is ok.

It brought it home to us how precious she is and how quickly she could be gone from our lives because of one moment of distraction ... I am still shaking and getting flashbacks of seeing her face down in the water.

This was definitely not what either of us needed at the moment but it made us both think of our selfish thoughts recently.

I dearly hope that my wife may change her mind and decide to stay with me ... but only time will tell .... and I hope that she will give it enough time and remain open minded about our future so that things may happen naturally.

Wish me luck all of you guys.

Dazed and Confused :

You must have posted your last one as I was typing mine.

I am so sorry that you tried to make amends and were let down so badly again and this must hurt you and your child so much.

I do however believe that all people are not alike and that some can change with commitment from both sides.

My wife has changed already and when we are out she is just not interested in others any more .. sure she is such an attractive woman, but she knows that the smiles and winks are only superficial and not a prerequisite to any true feelings.

We even joke about these guys (and girls who have been interested in me in the past) and how sad they are that they have to play this game with people who are happy with their partners, touring the bars instead of looking for meaningful relationships which form naturally from friendship and respect.

I keep reading the bad experiences on this site and it would be good to hear about some who have managed to rebuild their marriages after infidelity ... as I wish to do mine.

There are reasons why people become unhappy with their partners .. I have heard all about the fact that there is no excuse for affairs and agree to a point, except that if there is no opportunity there to discuss problems (or when they are discussed, they are subsequently ignored) the person may look for support elsewhere ... leading perhaps to the inevitable due to the fact that they have found the emotional support they lack at home.

After this horrible wake-up call, I am now truly committed to correcting my faults and making my wife feel important and wanted. I just hope that she believes me and will give us one more chance.

It would be the same for her if she trusted me to change my ways and then I started neglecting her once again after some time.