Today I asked WH to leave. I am fed up with not seeing 150% or even 100% from him. He did this to me! He is the one that wants to save the marriage (supposedly) - I just agreed that I would try, mostly for the sake of the kids. I am not seeing results or actions from him. All he is doing is going to church and counseling. He still will not talk to me. I waited paitently 1 entire week for him to take the initiative and talk to me and he never did. I never said a word as I felt it was best for me to give him "time" since he doesn't really know how to "talk" seriously with me. He had an "assignment" from the MC of stuff that he was supposed to be doing and waited till the last minute (night before my counseling session) to do anything. I am dissapointed in him. MC is disappointed in him. Don't want to keep "threatening" him just to get a reaction from him. Told him he has 15 minutes after I get home (while we "exchange" our son) for him to leave the house. He has excuses for not doing the things that he should be doing but that is all they are. He blames me for not having time to do reading or thinking so I am just letting him go so he can find the time that he needs to do what it is that he needs to do.
Sorry, I just needed to vent. This is so frustrating. And I am sad that he has not done more.

i'm so sorry sweetie! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Heya, B&P.

Now that you've asked him to leave, don't be surprised if he doesn't. Don't be surprised if he does, either. And try your darndest to keep your goal firmly in mind: A strong, healthy marriage with the man you love. Wherever it is that he's gone to. (Deep in hiding, I'm guessing.)

Whether he goes or stays, hold onto yourself and as much of your hurt, fear, and anger as you can. Don't pile it all onto him no matter how much you want to. I know you're scared and hurting, but so is he. Try to be gentle (with his feelings and needs) and firm (about your own needs and limits) at the same time.

No, it's not fair to have to be the one to hold things together. But sometimes it's necessary. Just don't do it to the point where you're destroying yourself.

I also have to say that this is a really lousy, rotten, awful time for all of this to happen to you! Having just spent an incredibly rocky year (I was the BS) with my pregnant and post-partum partner, I know how what those hormones can do.

They can make you feel absolutely crazy, even on the most normal of days, and turn your emotions inside out and upside down. Take care of yourself and the baby on the way (and your son!), and remember that some of your reactions may not be what you think they are.

Thank you both for your concern. He did leave the first night. The 2nd night he wanted to stay because he was really sick & felt like he couldn't drive. I felt sorry for him and let him stay. Then later that evening, we talked some and I ended up getting mad because he continued with the excuses for not doing what he should be doing. I made him leave & it made him mad. The 3rd night I let him stay because he was still really sick and I was having contractions (I'm 28wks along) and we both thought that 1 of us may end up in the hospital. We talked & I told him that I just wanted him to make it all better. I told him all he has to do to make it better is 1) quit making excuses 2) start taking action and 3) treat me like he wants to be with me. It sounds simple to me especially if you really want to be with someone and work it all out which he says he does. Anyway, we were nice to each other and tried to comfort each other even though we were both not feeling well (physically). The MC told him that day in his session to Not stay at home unless it was a medical emergency because we both needed time apart. He had planned on leaving but when he found out about the contractions he stayed. He said he should go because MC told him he should. I told him not to be a "puppet" and start making his own decisions.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Betrayed&Pregnant:
<strong>He blames me for not having time to do reading or thinking so I am just letting him go so he can find the time that he needs to do what it is that he needs to do.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sounds like my guy. He left yesterday to "find himself" (if anyone knows what that exactly means, please let me know...if I needed to "find myself" I wouldn't ditch the people who cared about, and supported me, the most).

I'm sorry. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> I am having a hard time myself with this...but try and take care of your health, and be around supportive friends/family.

Hi all,
Sounds like we're all in the same boat. I kicked H out 3 days ago and he runs out and rents an apt. with money we don't have! He's only stayed there 1 night - we're both uneasy with breaking the news to daughter. Found out about A in Nov. - he supposedly cut all ties with OW - but found phone numbers on cell phone bill! ("we're just friends" - ha!)
Help me with these crazy feelings! I was so upset about the lying I really wanted him gone. Now I'm not so sure. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />