I've just found out that my second husband (13 years) is as bad a serial, compulsive adulterer as the first. I'm totally in shock and I don't know where to go from here. He's been having casual sex with just about anybody who would let him. I feel sick to my soul; beyond crying. It's the casual sex that really blows my mind. I feel ill at the thought of him ever touching me again - of him ever having touched me.

1. sorry about this.

2. was your relationship founded in alie i.e. where you the other woman or did you leave your fisrt husband for this guy, if so sorry what do you expect if not damn sorry for your bad luck.

3. he will not change dump him

toyman

No, I was the 'other woman' - so I should really have known better. I was already divorced for a year when I met him.
But you know this terribly torn feeling when he pulls you like the moon pulls the tide - and yet you want to run and run and run until there is not chance that you could see him again.

Your situation is reminiscent of what someone once said on this board 'Remember, that what they do with you, they can also do to you'.

AK50 I won't tell you what to do because only you know what's best for you, BUT I will recommend that you do not make any decisions while your emotional ordeal is happening. Often times decisions made under these circumstances tend to come back and bite us in the a**. There are other things to consider besides his cheating, such as whether he has been a good H in all other areas of the M. If he is willing to committ himself to change his ways and wants you to give him another chance, then you may be making a big mistake in dumping him. Harley has suggested the use of anti-depressants as a way to help the BS control his/her emotions not only for coping with the ordeal but to also prevent the BS from sabotaging any possibility of marital recovery. Also consider reading Harley's books 'Surviving An Affair' 'Love Busters' and 'His Needs Her Needs'. You are not alone, we are here for you.

Yes, apart from the sex addiction he's a wonderful husband in every other way. But of course now I'm thinking that it was just a way of making himself feel better about himself because he knows what a cad he is. Cheap slut is what I called him last night. But he cried after we started talking, and then I gave him some printouts from your site (don't remember the exact one) but the one that says to come totally clean with the other party - so proceeds to tell me ..... and tell me ....until I was left reeling. How can one feel so numb and yet ache so at the same time? My first instinct is to put him out with the trash this morning, but I will follow your advice and not do anything for now. I'm drowning in the river of my tears.