Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2 |
Hello.....I know this is my first post but I'm not new to MB. Anyways.......
This may be a silly concern. My dh is having lunch daily with a woman at work. I knew they were having lunch but I always thought his buddies (two men)were going with them. Now I'm a little worried to find out they are going alone. Every day! Now dh thinks this is funny that I'm worried.
Dh was off two weeks ago. We ran into this man who works for the same company. The man said your "buddy" has really missed you this week. Talking about this woman and dh laughed it off.
My ? is would it bother anyone? Or am I being concerned about nothing. Oh btw, this woman is the same age as me & dh (30). She is also married.
Thanks for letting me ramble!
Tracy
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 140
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 140 |
Yes! You have every right to be concerned. And the fact that your DH just laughs your concern off shows a lack of respect for you and your marriage.
Your husband should take your concerns into consideration and distance himself from the woman. Is he having an affair? Maybe, maybe not.. Could be the startings of an EA. If it continues, the chances rise that he will be tempted to have a EA/PA with this woman. The two of you really need to sit down and have a serious talk about this. Make sure he knows your feelings without lecturing, blaming, or crying. Don't accuse him, just let him know you're worried.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,166
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,166 |
Yes, msot affairs start out as friendships. Trust your gut instincts...oops...your intuition on this.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 2 |
Thanks for the replies. I do have that feeling something isn't right here. He has always been honest. If I ask him who he went to lunch with he tells me. I'm sure it's not a jealous feeling on my part.
Didn't really think about the possibility of an EA. Thanks for mentioning it!
Today I asked him to come home during his lunch break. He said he didn't have time. Now we are talking about a 1hr break. We only live five or so minutes from work! So when I talked to him I asked where he went. Of course, he went with her.
I'm not sure how to address this with him. Wish me luck!
Tracy
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,206
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,206 |
You do have to talk to him about your feelings. It's not a matter of not trusting him, it's just that he's putting himself in a very vulnerable position, that he's probably not even aware of. Certainly don't accuse him of anything - let him know how these daily lunches with this woman make you feel. He should respect your feelings and you should be able to come to an agreement.
Any chance of you joining him for lunch??
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
232
guests, and
22
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,659
Posts2,323,613
Members72,372
| |
Most Online9,682
May 13th, 2026
|
|
|
|
|
|
