Robin called today to tell me I forgot the checkbook last night. She started asking what was wrong with her sister. Robin can't see how her actions effect so many people.<BR>Why is that?<P>I aked her if OB was getting Abbet somthing for x-mas. She says did SIL tell you that. I said no(small lie). I assumed that was him that called last night while I was there. I then said that in noi ways shape or form is he yo get her somthing. Of course she said A won't know where it came from. Thats when I said that he has already invaded her life enough as it is. I said that there have to be boundries. This segwayed into another toppic on him. I told her I couldn't believe some of the boundries she walked over. Silence. When she gets quiet, I know something hit the bone. I couldn't stop, I then said that I knew for a fact that his whole intention this summer was to sleep with her and destroy my family. Silence. What she said next was she has a part. I said he played you in the begining, now your the one making the choices.<P>She changed the conversation back to the checkbook. I told her to have a nice day and I love you when we hung up. She mumbled I love you back.<P>I know I shouldn't talk about OB but I am not budging on this gift thing. Maybe it'a a LB. I have to accept this one(LB) and move on and not do any more. Minor setback I hope.<P>God is working on her, I can feel it. I did no barganing, so I feel OK about that.<P>She is REAL sick with all this. She is in massive pain and doesn't even know it.<P>My dad is going to call her tonight to break the ice, she is scared to talk to him. She doesn't realise how much he loves her. He is going to try to persuade her to stay for x-mas dinner. My fingers are crossed.<P>I need to get dreesed and ready for work. Keep praying for us.<P> <B>I HATE INFIDELITY</B><P>One other thing she keeps telling her sister that she is a bachaloret, this sickens SIL. I told her to say no you not, your an adultress that has turned her back on her family. I can't say that, that's how SIL feels.<P> Thanks,<P>Bill<P><P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Hang in there, Bill. I can hardly believe you're getting an "I love you", even a mumbled one. I haven't had one of those since he left.<P>Praying for you.<P>Lori

Bill,<P>I was looking for your post from last night and I couldn't find it...<P>Anyway...<P>A question that I should know the answer to, but don't... who is Abbey with now?...<BR>You?... Robin?... Elsewhere?...<P>In any case... I can understand your pain....<BR>Really, I can... If my W's OM could have absolutely ZERO(0) contact with I my kids, I'd be overjoyed!<P>But it doesn't happen...<BR>Yes I do have the 2 restraining orders... but when they visit their mom... I can do nothing. What the OM buys them... I have no control over... My kids are a little older so they see through his "buying their affection."<P>I know it bothers you that OB will get Abbey a gift... but... you're killing yourself over this... How many gifts do you remember from the age of 3? How much do "material" things mean to you? How much do you want them to mean to Abbey?...<P>Let it go... maybe?...<P>It's hard to do... boy do I know...<BR>My boundry was that my W's OM can't sleep in same place as my kids... others can and do say to me... let it go...<BR>obvously I haven't... either...<P>If you can't let it go either... I can understand... But... I'll be praying for you... <P>Your Brother in Christ...<P>Jim

Thanks Lori,<P>She still loves me just not<B>IN</B> Love with me. <P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Jim, we are shareing Abbey. 2or3 days with me and 2or3 days with her mom.<P>I am not going to budge on this gift issue. I think Robin understands that. I've thought about a restraining order myself, that wopuld be a huge LB now.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Bill,<P>The thing about <B>my</B> restraining orders...<BR>In my state(NJ) (according to my attorney), I could only get them after filing for separation or divorce...<P>Check in your state... or... like I recommended to others... get some free advice from a good attorney...use the <A HREF="http://lawyers.martindale.com/marhub/form/by.html" TARGET=_blank>Martindale-Hubbell Lawyer Search</A> site. Do a search within your county... look for only "family law" specialists(>80% in divorce/custody/etc.)... make sure they do a lot of "family law committee work"... if they know the judges all the better... You can normally find a few that will give initial counselling free of charge.<P>And of course you already had this "url"... right!<P>Jim<BR>------------------<BR>I can dare myself... I'll put a pebble in my shoe...<BR>I can walk... I can walk! I shall call the pebble Dare...<BR>Dare shall be carried... And when we both have had enough<BR>I will take him from my shoe, singing... "Meet your new road!"...<BR>Finally glad... Finally glad... That you are here... By my side...

If he is only 17 isn't Robin breaking a law? Just curious is all. I have a 2.5 year old daughter and she is the most precious thing in my life right now. I agree with you about the present issue. Maybe you can donate it to charity!!

WOW!!! She mumbled "I Love You". Whether by reflection or deep down from within, saying "I Love You" that there's great hope for those "in love" feelings to return. <P>My wife won't say "I Love you" anymore, even though I believe that she does. So I think your "I Love You" is huge.<P>It sounds like there wasn't much of a Love Busting episode on the gift issue, even as you stood your ground firmly. That's good. It sounds like she did a lot of listening, with calm discussion - even if she changed the subject back eventually. That can only be good also.<P>I'm really hoping and wishing you and your family a happy and progressive holiday. <P>By the way, has your father read any of Dr. Harley's teachings? Is it possible for a father-in-law to Love Bust and/or add deposits on behalf of their offspring?