Ok Sue now you really are going to begin to think that I am making things up so that we have stuff in common but what I about to tell you is the Gods honest truth.

The more you talk about your H the more he sounds like my H exept for the OW are you sure we are not married to the same man.

This man of mine has junk EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!
Before we had to move we had a add on in the back part of the house that became "his room" let me begin the list of junk,old soda machines,old computers the walls were filled with hot wheels that he insisted on stapling from floor to roof.He has old toys,old bottles,old maps and the list is just beginning these are all little project that would consume all his time and any extra money we had I could go on and on,then when our son left home oh no we had now and extra room that you guessed it he filled up with ALL HIS junk,it was a night mare when we had to move I refused to help.Now that was in the house lets go out side where we had three junk cars that he is going to someday restore(where will this money come from)and again the list goes on,

Well we ended up having to move when this issue of child support for our son came up so guess what you will love this one.He moved all his junk to my sister house half of the garage is filled up and he has his junk cars there too.My poor sister <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
she doesnt have an H and I think should not have to deal with all that JUNK!!!

Any way how are you today I'm tired if I don't start sleeping better soon I think I will go crazy.

Steal Seeking:Thanks for asking I am doing a little better thanks to sue and everyone else. I let my thread run down don't feel much like sharing stuff right now with alot of people maybe someday.I still have more downs than ups but today makes two up days in a row not bad.

Ginger,

I can tell you we are not married to the same man. If they gave out titles on who's spouse collects the most junk, you H won. I thought mine was bad. I guess I have it easy compared to you.

You need to get some sleep. Try putting on some soft music, lay flat on your back, arms at your sides and in your mind, tell your body to go to sleep, body part by body part starting at your feet/toes. What I do, is I tell my toes to relax, when I feel that happen, I move to my feet, etc, etc. It works for me.

It gets better, life (not the junk, he will have to change for that to change)

sue,I'm glad you can at least feel that one thing in your life is better than someone else I won the award for the junk man <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> and to tell you the truth I barely tiped the ice berge with what he has I did not mention the thousands of baseball cards and ect.believe it or not he still trys to bring junk into this little two bedroom apt. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> some times I think I should have let the OW have him I wonder what she would have thought of all his junk,or I mean treasures!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I have an idea, you know that antique show that is on TV, you could take his stuff, and see if it is valuable. (Just kidding) trying to make light of it for you.

If mine kept all that stuff, I would have to pack him up.

I know the show he loves it thats the problem he swears his junk is worth something.So far we are not rich but we still have alot of JUNK!!!

Sue, I just had the best idea we could sell all of our H's junk and then go shopping you can get that mothersday gift you wanted or maybe the ring and I'll get my birthday present and aniversary too!!!!! what other holiday did our H's forget?LOL

That was the only holiday. However, I don't recall how many birthdays. The first two anniversaries he missed, or was it three.

One birthday we went out, yes he remembered, this was the birthday before I confimed the A. He excused himself to go to the bathroom, he called her. I saw it on the bill. I was so mad.

I remember thinking, at the time we went out, how nice and special. He is actually taking us out to dinner. He had to ruin that memory by calling her while we were out at dinner. (I was so impressed that we went out, I remember the time frame.)

Sometimes I think he loves me, most of the time, I don't believe he does. He does not tell me he does.

Today was another day, because it was a day with the kids not listening, he says he does not want to be a parent anymore. What was he expecting, "Father's Knows Best", "Brady Bunch". Those were not real families, in real families, kids don't always listen. That is reality. Parenting is a hard job.

Good Morning !!!
( I guess it is if we make it that.)

That is reality. Parenting is a hard job.

Whenever I ask my dad what to do about the kids, he says " I think you need to beat them more." Then he laughs.
He never beat any of us, so I think he just gets a kick out of saying it.

If I ask again, he always says " Oh, you are doing OK, just keep loving them and it will work out."

I am in the business of selling camping equipment, and our most busy months are May, June, and July.

Sue, keep it up, pass those boards. I still pray for you, for your children, and for your H to be what he is supposed to be. You deserve a better life.

It looks like I have to go away again, I sometimes buy some good deals spur of the moment that I have to go and pick up.

If you know you can't relax this summer, set yourself a goal for next year. Have something to look foreward to, and reward yourself for many jobs well done.

I still think you should be making plans for what you are going to do with your M. I am afraid if you don't you may just cash it all in on a bad day. Talk to Cerri, and work on it right along, just as a favor to me.

Remember that lots of us care about you.

SS

<small>[ June 26, 2003, 09:55 AM: Message edited by: still seeking ]</small>

Hi SS,

What do I say except thanks. You always seem to know what to say.

I will talk to Cerri, promise

Hi All,

I don't recall exactly what was said, in a prior post, SS, metioned about my opening up on my feeling, or talking about my feeling more. I don't recall exactly what was said. I know I should, it is so easy for me to put up the guard when the feelings come around. I went through it once before, I don't want to do it again. It is so much easier to keep the guard up.

It is so easy for me to turn my hurt into anger and vent. I can do that very easily.

My past experiences have been when I show my vulnerablitly, show that I am hurt, H tends to ignore it, or humiliate me because I have feelings. Once, he tried to ridicule me for expressing my feelings, I know I was so mad at him for doing that. I firmly told him they are my feelings, I am entitled to them, and he does not have the right to invalidate them. He had no response to that.

I hate it when I go to bed and cry. I hate it when I don't even want to sleep with him because I am so angry with him. There are times I welcome our 3 year old sleeping with us. There are times I want the closeness of him. Which I will probably never have.

On a brighter note, most of the stuff we need to do some home improvements are on sale this week. I will find a way to come up with the money to buy it. Even if it means cutting back on the groceries. (I always over shop in this area)

Hi Sue, A long not so good day for me.I guess I could tell you about it and make you happy that you are married to your H and not mine.LOL

Kids are kids that what I say.My H never was one to help with the kids and when things went wrong or they made a bad choice it became my fault for not backing him up as a parent or not allowing him to correct them how he saw fit.Ok I will agree that when it came to the kids we had a lot of disagreements on raising them not a good idea but I would always tell him don't you remember being a kid were you perfect? I don't think he ever liked that answer much.

Sue I don't know what to say about your M.You know how you feel and what is best for you I don't, all I can do is to be a listening ear when you need one and hope that you find some comfort in that.
I have had a lot of people give me thier oppinions over the years about my H not all positive I will add but the bottom line is I chose to do what I did because of how I felt inside.My friends and family do not know about his A if they did they would all be very angry at me for staying.But I am here because this is what I chose it hasn't been easy and most days the pain is unbearable but it was the choice I made for me.

Hi Ginger,

I think if you told me everything your H has done, I probably would not be glad I have my H and not yours.

Each of us are in different places, different circumstances, and it hurts the same. Deep and to the core.

Because I was once with an abusive alcoholic, and it was the worst time of my life, (yes, even my current situation is better than that one was), if my H was an alcoholic, I would run, not walk to the nearest exit. I cannot stay in this type of situation, I don't care how much I love that person.

You chose to stay, because you loved him. And you in some ways are stronger than I am. I would have been long gone by now if I was in your shoes.

I know your H was finally honest with you, I understand how much that hurts. You think you will be relieved to hear this, but you are not. If he continues with this honesty, hopefully this will be the beginning of you being able to heal and move foward in recovery of your M.

I really hope everything works out.

Sue, I hope I do not make things worse for you instead of better when we chat.I do not mean to bring you down.

Crying your self to sleep now that is something I do very well.I think it is washing away my wrinkle cream!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I think it is ok for you to get angry some times holding every thing in makes things worse as I look over my life it is all the junk I hold deep inside of me that probably makes it so I can not deal with this situation very well.

Thanks for saying I was strong I needed that, I do not feel strong today I feel like a big fat cry baby today!

You don't bring me down, I do that all by myself when I find the time.

Crying is not a sign of weakness. Strong people are not afraid to show their feelings. Crying for no reason is cause for alarm. You have plenty of reasons to cry.

Some claim that crying has a cleansing effect. I don't know, I know it makes my eyes red and puffy, I don't know how cleansing that is

I know what you mean about the puffiness.I have really bad allergies and don't need any help with puffy eyes.

I don't feel weak because I cry I think I feel weak because I can't admit what he has done.I cant walk away and feel like it is ok to start new.I feel weak when I think of him just being able to walk away from his responsibilitys I know he didn't do this but the thought that he was going to kills me inside.

After listening to you and Ginger talk about junk collectors, I think I'll clean the garage tomorrow. What's the biggest dumpster they make?

SS

I don't know, but you better get cleaning.

I don't usually watch Montel Williams, it was on the TV while I was paying bills.

Todays topic was, people who collect stuff that they think is worthless. One guy has 40 boxes of TV guides. Another guy has an old gas pump, 2 or three pepsi machines, 2 or 3 coke machines. The gararge was full.

On the show, they were offered to give Montel the junk items (not all of them) but specific ones that were selected and take what is behind door #1 or #2 or keep the junk. One person actually had an antique item worth about 2,000. They kept it, and gave up an old chair that was worth about 200, they got 2,000 in excahnge for the 200.00 chair.

I thought of you Ginger, too bad you weren't on there, maybe you could have gotten rid of some stuff

Oh I forgot to tell you of the old gas pumps(and I am not kidding)we have had them too.Was it a short mexican on the show if so that was my H. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Honestly, I think he was mexican, if not, he had the darker complextion that mexicans/latinos have.

I was wondering where that man was today!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

And SS go ahead and clean out your gargage just please do not tell my H he will be right over to take all it off your hands! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

How are you today Sue?