I started my holidays today and I think it is going to feel like a long one. Work is/was a good distraction for me and I feel lost all of a sudden because I have all this time alone with my mind and I don't think I can handle it. I am feeling a little frustrated at the moment. I am feeling lonely, bored, unmotivated, etc., and nobody is home for me to call. My best friend is in meetings at work, both of my parents are working, my H is also working and I have no idea where (works all over the place) and my sister isn't home either. I need something to keep my mind busy. All I can think about is my feelings about the OM. I even called my voicemail at work a couple of times just to see if he is has left me a message. Before I even pick up the phone - I know that he hasn't left one but for some reason there is that hope. WHY am I doing this? I've never been addicted to anything in my life so I am not sure what to really do with myself at this point. I have tons of stuff to do that would keep me busy but can't seem to do any of them.<P>I went back to some of the replies to my last posts to gain strengh but that only works for a short time. Maybe a glass of wine would do the trick. I could start painting my bedroom I guess. Any other suggestions?<P>Brynn

brynn,<P>Stop by the bookstore and get a couple of books that are on my post... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum1/HTML/010158.html" TARGET=_blank>Books... books... books... (again)</A>. <P>Jim<BR>---------------------------------<BR>Where two or more are gathered...

Brynn - you've got the right idea. Try to keep busy. And I do remember how hard it is to MAKE yourself do the things you should do.<P>It helped me to make a list. Everything I could think of, small and large. And when I looked at it and everything seemed too much trouble to tackle, I just broke them down into smaller jobs. Then I'd pick one. Do it and scratch it off the list. I was a basket case, so we're talking "eat 1/2 sandwich" on the list. <P>But checking them off seemed to make me feel better and more able to tackle something else. And made me feel stronger too.<P>Good luck. I know it's very hard, but you'll get through it.<P>Hang in there.<P>Lori

Thanks guys. I'm doing a bit better now - I just have to keep myself occupied. Cleaned the whole house from top to bottom and I would pay anyone money to find a spec of dirt! Ha Ha.<P>Lostva, I am the queen of lists so your suggestion is already in the works. Long roads ahead but at least I have somewhere to get encouragement when I need it. Everyday is different and I do have a H who cares about me and I just have to remember that he will be home soon. We are coming onto sledding season so weekends by myself are frequent. I just hope I am stronger by the time they get here.<P>Brynn

Keep posting, keep busy, keep trying, keep on keepin' on. If wine doesn't do it for ya, my favorite is Long Island ice tea. Always a good one. Like I've posted to you before, there are a lot of good ideas and wisdom here, all you have to do is keep tapping in to them. Arik