My situation is that my H of 20 yrs. says he doesn't love me anymore, or at least does not have any feelings for me. He says I worked too hard and ignored him and the family. I was shocked since I thought we had a good marriage - able to talk to each other and affection for each other. I would like to rebuild our relationship but my H is in withdrawal. I've explained Dr. Harley's program but understand that it can't work until the emotional barriers are brought down. Does anyone have any advice? Is it possible to bring a spouse out of the withdrawal stage so that we can talk about his feelings?

There is a good chance your H is having an affair. Plan A is the appropriate initial "treatment" for both affairs and withdrawal. See the link in my sig line for more info.

And even if he's not having an affair, he's giving you good information. You work too hard and don't pay enough attention? OK. Figure out how to change that. And talk to him about the changes you want to make.

And yes, read up on Plan A. No matter =what= the problem is, Plan A is a good way to live.

Thanks for the advice. I've been trying to make changes - I've transferred to a new position 16 months ago. The new position has less stress and have not worked overtime since the change or brought home work. However my husband says the changes are too late. Unfortunately although I made these changes to spend more time with my family, the decision was mine because I was unhappy with all the stress of my old job. My H never told me that he was unhappy. He said he did not talk to me because he did not want to add more stress to my life. Obviously we have not had the "good" communication that I thought. If my H had told me, I would have done something. I'm not sure what since I support the family BUT I would have found a way. My H and children are the most important thing in my life. I will try Plan A and hopefully will be successful with it. (I've also been talking with my husband at least 1 hour every night so that we can understand what happened and determine if we can "regain" our love.)