As I try to sort out the why's of my H's affairs, the greatest question comes to mind....how could he neglect his children? Has anyone experienced this while trying to sort through their H's or W's A? My H was one of the most attentive father's, buying only the best, doing everything with the children during his free time and was soccer, football and hockey coach for my daughter's team. When the A kicked off and he left us (daughter is 9 and son is 4), he basically kicked all three of us out of his life. I can accept what he did to me, but doing it to his children leaves not only a bitter taste, but a vengeful one from my perspective. How could a man forget his children? Why? Is this normal? Could this H of mine, who was a great parent, really neglect his children for OW? Any replies would be appreciated.

Karena

Hi Karena--

This sounds so familiar to me.
I asked my H the same thing. Are you telling me this so called W means more to you than your two beautiful daughters. His response was, THE SAME!
The person means the same to him as his two daughters. I don't get it either. I don't know how any parent can put a human being above their own children.

He has left our home this week. He was living here, and loving W at work.
I'm not sure how happy he is with what he says he wants, which is HER.

I think he does miss the girls, as he calls them when they get up for school in the morning, but I think it's very irresponsible on his part to walk away from his children.

Don't know if this has helped you at all, but, just wanted to let you know that I have been told the same thing.

Best of luck to you.
KEB

karena,

One word ... selfishness. He doesn't give a hood about anything but get his ENs fillin. Identify that ENs and hope your WH allows you to compete with it.

My exW abandon us for OM ... i.e. literally gone for few days !. Before D-day, she were late picking up my 2 D after school & their activities. Many time I have to bail her out.

-rh-

I ask myself the same question. How could H cheat on me while I went thru pregnancy's, miscarriages, birth of our son, etc. It just seems too special to want to screw up. His answer is that he compartmentalized the A's. They were totally seperate from anything that went on with me and our life together. Now how could that be?????

Same thing here!

September we were happy, looking for new house, spending lots of time together, everthing was great! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

By the end of October he was talking getting out of house deal loosing $6500 and risk getting sued because we were going to back out of the deal. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

He works afternoons so we hardly saw each other unless I waited up, but I wake up at 5:30 so that was tough. The group of people he worked with didn't help! Boss was scorned and dumped by wife. Another coworker was told by wife she was leaving with another man. The third was the perverbial "I hate my wife" but never leaves her.
And along comes OW into this lovely group of wife haters! Topping on the cake. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

In one month this man I adored went from pure happiness to I hate you and I've got to get out of this marriage! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I wonder how my life went to pot in such a short time; more to the point how could he tear up his kids life because of something that happen overnight!

I hung in, and things are better now the EA is over even though we are separated, but the issue is still, why couldn't he try a little harder for the kids.

Its not that I'm asking him to stay in a miserable marriage for the kids, our marriage wasn't miserable.(Unless I was totally clueless)

Just try and find the hapiness and love again--for the kids.

He's off trying to find himself (or I guess in one of those stages the Dr. talks about); hopefully I'll still be here when he figures out he had it all and didn't know it.

He is really taking a lot for granted!

Its funny, he tells me he's having trouble sleeping. Blames everything:the matress, pillow, noise.....all the while I'm thinking GUILT, stupid. Guilt over being soooooooo selfish is not letting him sleep! and he doesn't even know it!(the fog)

Well, I don't know about you, but sometimes I feel better knowing I'm not alone!

All i can say is hopefully they come out of it.Even if the marrriages don't survive, hopefully their relationships with their children will. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />