It has been a while since I have posted. Tonite the unbelievable happened. First indulge me. My wife had not called her in about 1.5 weeks.
She called and I said hello in the most kind voice I posssibly could. She then broke down sobbing. She asked me if she could come home if she agreed to all of my conditions. I said if you are willing to do a POJA. She said she would meet me and we would do it together.
She was sober, says she has not had a drink in two weeks and went to see a counselor.(Even gave me her counselors number so I could call her to check her story).
She told me that it would be hard to separate from OM, wanted to change our phone number and send no contact letter.
I had a dream last night that we were together again, talking about our future together, and how would we recover. Strange. Eery.
I have to give her credit. She is very courageous.
I am feeling very neutral about this.I love her, but I am at peace knowing I could walk at any time, even if she comes back to stay. Not unlike Mortermans' feelings.
She said she needed to be unselfish and give our marriage a chance again.And she misses the boys terribly.
Her timing is impeccable. I was getting ready to file.She had no idea.
I am strangely at peace with all of this.Unsure if this is a good or bad feeling.
Anyway, I will keep you posted. I need to get ready for this. By the way, it has been almost nine months since she left.
I am glad she misses and needs her sons. Before she left, she was a good Mom. I know she has not forgotten how.
She needs to continue to get help. I will help support that. We will both need to get help soon.

Gregg:

I remember! I'm glad for the two of you and your kids. Take it easy, okay?

regards,
-Qfwfq

Gregg,

Coffeeman will no doubt be here to give you a "gentle" reminder of all that has transpired. I would like to remind you that even Dr. Harley won't attempt to address marriage issues UNTIL any addictions (you know alcohol) have been addressed.

I would be very very leary of taking her back until she is sober and has gone through a treatment. I am not sure I would allow her to live in the house until that time. Your boys have been through enough in the last 8-9 months or so.

She has done this to you so many times, and it is a function of her affair, but more her alcoholism. She must beat that if there is to be any hope.

You are a man to be admired, but just remember you are the ONLY person your sons can rely on. Protect them, even if it means losing her.

God Bless,

JL

Hello Gregg -

I do not know your story, but from the little that I've read your W appears to be an alcoholic? If that is the case, then I will offer you any assistance I can. You see, I too am an alcoholic and have been sober for 18 mos.

If you have any questions about Alcoholics Anonymous or alcoholism in general I will do my best to help. We are never 'cured' and receiving 'treatment' is an ongoing thing for most of us...

I'll keep an eye on this thread for a while to see if I can be of any assisitance to you.

Good luck, and ask for help from your higher power.

Gib

Thank you all for all your responses and gracious help. She and I spoke about her drinking issues. I am taking her to a local (and nationally respected) treatment facility as soon as she comes back, for an evaluation.
Curiously, I am not excited about her return. I am vey neutral and matter of fact about it.
I am sure that TMCM wil want to insert some words of advice here. I appreciate his help and guidance.
Anyway, keep you posted.