Been married for 8 years. Recently found pantyhose in my car, the late night calls to her on his cell phone in our garage, he bought flowers and charged my AMX card and said they were for an office. He cannot produce a reciept, he was diagnosed with fungus on his genitals and the cherry on top - the phone message she left at 10:31pm the night before he left out of town. She started off telling you how much she loves him and how it was so good to see him that day, how she loved having him inside of her. She said she hated not being able to call him on his cell because I would check it and how she hated knowing I was in bed with you. She said to call if you wanted her to upgrade him. Then she said she would be at Trulucks in the afternoon and to meet her later. There were other hurtful things like how she could do things to him with a few more tequila shots and that she loved the movie you bought her. The one thing that hit home was how she wanted you to call and leave her sweet messages and to please talk real close to the phone all sexy.
I made the mistake and called him and he erased it and deleted it halfway through it. He called and begged me not to leave him and that nothing was going on. This soundtrack keeps playing in my head over and over. He denies this affair and he said she was "crazy" and says she makes him "sick". She denied it too saying that she called her boyfriend because she was alittle drunk. To call his business voice mail, one doesn't call direct, she had to know what she was doing. I shutter to think of what other messages she has left him. Women don't call men and leave them that kind of message unless they are having an affair. I feel so betrayed. My trust for him is non-existant. We haven't made love for over a year and the year before that it was once. Before that, it was about once a year. Why? Because I am heavy/fat/large? Okay, I am losing the weight. Am I so disqusting that you couldn't make love to me? I don't think so.... Fatter people are having more sex then us. The lack of sex and lack of passion has sent our marriage into a weird place. A place were people like her and others start looking good because they pay attention to him and etc. Men have paid attention to me, tried to be with me and I have always said no.
I can't believe that we are in this position. I now notice couples holding hands, kissing, and just hearing someone say, "My husband" makes me want to cry. I always prided myself on how we would always be faithful to each other, how highly I thought of you as being the best husband in the world. Everyone was so jealous of how our marriage worked.
I think I can get past this with help. We need to repair this marriage and relationship for the better. I want to be his best friend and lover again. I want to do fun things like we used to when we dated. I want to build a new house together and start new adventures with him! I want to make love to him. I want to stay married and love you. I want to trust him again.
With counseling - will I?
EZS
