well things have gotten worse. how much worse? i honestly don't know if this marriage is worth fighting for anymore. when i originally found that "i love you" message in my wife's email from her ex, i thought something was fishy. she betrayed my trust by saying that nothing was happening and then lying about it. i told her to choose between her stupid internet fling or her family. you think that this would be somewhat of an easy choice. i waited all day for an answer and finally, while holding my son, i told her to choose now. she finally said, "of course i choose you and our son". i wrote this guy that she was having the EA with. i wasn't a [censored] about it or anything, i just requested that he stop talking to her. after a few emails back and forth, he agreed. my wife found out that i wrote to him and blew up. why? she's so quick to protect and defend this guy that's perpetuating this situation and she has the audacity to be pissed off at me? why?
because i want to fix our marriage? because i actually give a **** about how this will affect our baby? she's also upset that i'm posting stuff on this website. she says it's no ones business yet she can backstab and degrade me to her internet friends and lie about doing it. she got upset because i talk to her mom on the phone. her mom has helped me so much deal with this. why doesn't she want me to talk to her mom? because she knows what she was doing was wrong and she doesn't want the third degree from her mom? because she maybe has a shred of decency and might actually feel ashamed or embarrassed or guilty about what she's doing and that her mom knows? when she found out that i had emailed her internet boyfriend with requests to stop talking to her, she called me up at work and said, "what the **** did you do that for?", and hung up on me. i left work early so i could "try" to talk to her. instead when i get home she calls me an ******* and says she doesn't care that she's screaming at me in front of the baby. is that fair to him? what the **** is a matter with her. she does this to me and has the nerve to be pissed at me for trying to fix things??? i read an icq message she had from a friend on feb. 7 that stated that we broke up and were merely just good friends sharing a marriage. can you believe this??? where was i when we broke up? i don't remember breaking up. she convinced herself that she's not in love with me anymore and when this started, she had me convinced otherwise. why didn't she tell me as soon as it started happening? does she want this to end? on friday when she found out that i had sent those emails, she was very cruel with her words. screaming at me that "there is no us". why? because i wrote her boyfriend, explained how i love my wife and don't want to lose her, and to stop talking to her? he agreed at the end and she get's pissed at me. even though she origianlly agreed that she chose me and my son over him, she yells that she's going to keep talking to him anyway. she's pissed because the only people that tell her what she wants to hear are the ones that she's been having conversations with on the internet. they're not here. they don't really see what's happening. she says she's not happy. sometimes happiness takes a little work, you know? and in that statement she feels it justifies everything she's doing and that it makes it right. all she has to do is push me just a little bit more and i'll personally go get those divorce papers myself and deliver them on a silver platter. and if this does go to court, i hope she realizes that everything will be in my favor. that goes for custody and property because i've damn neared payed for almost everything we have. she's probably going to read this and blow a gasket...again. i'm sick of trying to please her now. now, unless she decides to fix things, it's only about me and my son. he's the most important thing to me right now. if things don't work out, i hope she's happy with the ****ed up choices she's made, how she lied and used me, and how our baby won't have a two parent home that he so rightfully deserves all because of her selfish and immature ways. it's not his fault. it's not my fault. it's hers.
