I've been in plan a for about 3 months. H is staying with friend, but we talk almost every day. Last night had an excellent 2 hour conversation about what's going on. Part of his realizations (he said) was that he didn't feel good enough for me so he took what he could get (second best). Thought things were going well. Today I got an email that said<P> " I figured out part of the Jay (her) and Theo (her son) thing. Very dark, very twisted. That's why I asked for an appt with Carla (his therapist) for Friday. I called Jay. She offered to come over on the next plane (she's in England). I accepted. I need, need, need to get this out of my system, processed, done. resolved. Oh I have clarity, but not all of it is pleasant. I don't ask you to agree. I don't ask for your support as much as i need it. I ask only that you remember that I'm trying as hard as I know how. I am very very sorry to add to your woes. I'm trying desperately to get clean. "<P>Help. Advice please. Plan A? Plan B? I'm feeling frantic. <P>

I'm sorry you're in this situation. If you can continue in Plan A, try to do so. He sounds very confused. Seeking therapy & wanting to get "clean" is good, having Jay visit is not, but you don't have any control over that. All you can control is you, if the communication between you is good, can you keep that up? If not, Plan B becomes your best option.

There's a tiny piece here that I understand about calling her and having her come over. He processes best face to face. I simply am trying to read between the lines of his email to me. I really don't know if I can stay the course with Plan A. I've been so good too (except for the night of confrontation) about not doing any love busters. A transatlantic flight on 24 hour notice seems rather drastic to me?!@##

Very dramatic and very dangerous.<P>Did you write him back? I think I wouldn't. I think I wouldnt even talk to him for a while..... I'd let him wonder - he's trying to justify his addiction..... SICK