Iam having an affair, where do i start to end it? I am in the process of falling in love with this other person. Everytime we meet a get a little more involved. I don't want to leave my family (husband 5 yrs, teo boys 1 and 4 )but I fantacise about it. I panic when I think I almost get caught and swear i'll never see him again but a couple weeks go by and I have to see him again, or I think I can just be "friends". I want to tell my husband because he is my best friend I need his support through this but i can't expect that. I feel like I'm in a hole. It physically hurts to think of giving up my lover. I look forward to getting closer to him but at the same time it scares me to death. I feel like I'm right at the point of no return but i'm to confused to turn back. I feel like I'm addicted to my lover but at the same time I feel like I really love him and he's the one I should be with. This is making me a nervous wreck and I can't take it anymore. ANd I can't talk to anybody about it. I am A horrible horrible person.

You are not a horrible person, but you have made some bad choices...believe me, I've been there...still am, in some ways. End the A now, before it becomes even harder...because it doesn't get easier. Don't hurt your children by continuing with this choice. Many will tell you to share this burden with your husband. All I can say is, make up your mind to end it and stick to that decision. A post I read recently has helped me personally - ask God EVERYDAY to help you love your husband with your whole heart and He will help you through. Take care and know that you are not the only WS here. Take care-

Saphire...How do you end an affair??? By stopping all contact with your affair partner! Is this easy? I sincerely doubt that it is...however, I can tell you that it's a lot easier to end an affair then have it ended for you by your H finding out and having your life, as you know it, destroyed. It's easier then having to explain to your children years later why their father left their mother. It's easier then having to look in the mirror some day in the future and wondering how your life has been fractured into so many pieces you can't even find them all.

I have no idea if you and your H should continue in your marriage. Maybe you do need to seek your freedom and maybe this OM is where your future will someday began...but...right now, you've got two small children who depend on you and their father to keep them safe and secure. You've got a H who expects and deserves a faithful spouse...even if he isn't everything you would wish. Right now...you must find the courage and the wisdom to make a choice. One relationship should end...the choice of which is in your hands.

I'm not saying you should stay married or that you shouldn't...I am saying that no marriage deserves betrayal. Look into your heart....discover what you want...then go after it in an honest and true form.

If the time has come for you to move down a path separate from your H, then do so...but don't betray....not your H, not your children, not your marriage...and not yourself.

wow that really hit home. your right. I wrote the OM and ened it. He won't contact me. But man it hurts. I feel like I just burned my security blanket or something. wow it hurt alot more than i thought it would. I always thought I loved myhusband and had an ok marriage I just "had fun" with this OM. but saying Goodbye to him takes my breath away. I will just pray that this will pass. I know it will. I think I just need to let go of not wanting it to pass.
Time WILL TELL....