Hi Everyone <P>Or I should say anyone. I'm kinda new here, I've only posted twice but both times no one was around I guess to talk to. My story in breif- Husband of 18 years left me and four kids 2-15 after he met a woman over the internet. He's 42 she's 25. He says she helped him figure out that he wasn't really happy in our marriage. He says that they are just good friends and like spending time together as they both have so much in common.<BR>He's always said he doesn't want a divorce and he won't go to counceling, but lately he's said he thinks we don't really have any choice but to divorce because he doesn't see how we can work things out. I told him if he wanted a divoce he was going to have to do it becauce I won't. I don't know how to let go, and why do we want to stay with someone that would do this to us? Now it's almost xmas and the kids are sad that he won't be here and I just want to go to bed and not get up until things make sence.

Boy, I know that feeling of wanting to go to bed and not get up. I wanted to believe it was all just some crazy nightmare and would go away, but it didn't. Things are much better for me now, but just hearing your story brings back those horrible feelings. I can totally relate to your pain. Have faith. Things will get better! J

Thanks Newday for your responce. It's nice to know that maybe things will get better, even though right now I can't see how.

{{{{{{{{{{<B>dumpedwife</B>}}}}}}}}}},<P>I'm sorry no one was responding after the original welcome...<A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum1/HTML/010312.html" TARGET=_blank>moving on</A>.<P>Unfortunately (after Friday eve.) things will slow down even more...<P>When you post... post on specific questions to a targeted audience....<P>I take it your H has moved out...<BR>Very awful... right before the holidays... <P>My heart goes out to you...<P>If you could, surround yourself with friends and family...<P>Start counseling <B>on your own</B>!<P>Things <B>will</B> get better... in a while... do reach out for support here...<BR>(but again...weekends are <B>s l o w</B> here)!<P>I'm praying for you and your kids... <P>Jim<p>[This message has been edited by NSR (edited December 16, 1999).]

Thanks NSR for your responce. I am going to counceling through my church. It has helped me alot. Husband has been gone for seven months and I'm starting to lose hope that things can actually get turned around. I think my new years resolution will be to just take care of myself and try to be happy. My husband has to come to terms with his own issues before he can move forward. I just feel like the biggest failure of a parent to my four kids. They deserve better than this.<P>Thanks again<BR>deb

Dear Comrad<P>Hang in there. I felt the same way. You need to read Dr. Harleys Basic Concepts, and all the articles on "Unfaithful Husband" etc. it really gave me hope and tools to work with. We are seeing another couselor, but I am very skeptical about his advise. He acts as if it is ok if we do not make it. <P>Do the Plan A to the letter. I could only do it for about 6 wks and asked him to move out. I feel it was to soom, so I am back in Plan A and seperated. You do not have as much opportunity to Plan A if they are out of the house! Shock him by being as nice and supportive and understanding as you can be, even though you are dying inside. Go to your doctor and get something for depression, it really makes a big difference. You will be able to control your emotions alot better. Just fight for your family, tell yourself you are better than OM. You have more history, kids, opportunity and God is on your side! Pray alot, it helps. We will be praying for you to have the strength you will need. Do it for your children. Keep the family together, no matter what. You can win him back. Have faith this is what God wants for you and your children.<P>God Bless You and Your Family

I too lost my H to an internet affair. It is very difficult to think that the person you love can risk everything for a online love. It has been one of the worst things we can endure. But, there are many success stories out there. You have come to the right place to talk. If you want to email me, her it is Susan236@hotmail.com<P>------------------<BR>Susan<P><BR>