Well, it looks like I won't be taking the VERY neccesary time off of work. The stupid, friggin' retarded company that I work for has an extremely lame plan for stress leave. I would have to wait three weeks for a paycheck to come. What does that do for stress? I am going to be working every damn day until Christmas day. My sisters are coming to visit and I won't be able to go out with them or do anything the entire time they are here. I was supposed to have these next two weeks off, but somebody decided that I needed to go back to work here in town. I really need this added stress right now in my life. Just like I need another hole in my head. Hey, maybe that's the answer!!! One more hole....no stress. I am so absolutely pi$$ed off right now. I have to go in tonight for the night shift, and as the time draws closer, I get more worked up and stressed out. I hate this feeling. I feel like I have no control over anything right now. I can't control my emotions, my thoughts, my surroundings, my freedom. Sorry I am venting and sounding like a baby. I want to throw my self on the floor and have a good old fashioned fit!!! I want to kick the floor and scream and spit!! I want to yell, I want to jump up and down, I want to choke some living thing to death( okay, a little extreme..maybe squish a bug). I AM SO DAMN MAD ABOUT EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH......AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH....I am going to go and suck my thumb now. C-YA

Don't hold anything back!!<P>I feel the same way sometimes...<P>take a hotbath, give it a chance! it works wonders....<P>Amanda<P>------------------<BR>:) I will love my husband "Always & Forever" :)<P>

Hey Arik. I'm not even gonna lecture you on this one! <P>Yell all you want to. I would too. Hey, I'll even scream with you!!!!<P>Lori

Arik,<P>GREAT post. Wanna know why....READ your own words.<P>You feel out of control about things and your life and your freedom. HHHMMMMMM! Maybe now you are telling yourself WHY you feel so dissatisfied with your marriage and your life!?!?!?!?<P>You want a CHANGE - one that puts YOU in control. I challenge you to think about this... If you are really so miserable, then a change is in order. But, some of that change may have to be INTERNAL change - attitude and expectations about life and responsibility and gratefulness for all the positives in your life instead of focuing so much on the negatives. You can change a lot by changing your attitude. There is a quote:<P> "Attitude is everything." I used to HATE that quote. Not any more, because it really is true!<P>Vent and be mad and get angry and vent it all here. Vent more and more to release some of hihs pent up frustration and anger. You are p!ssed and have a right to feel that way.<P>After you are done with the venting, think about WHY you are so frustrated. Then think about what you can do to help yourself not be so frustrated. What changes can you make in Arik to feel better about life?<P>Wishing you happiness, Arik......<P>Roll Me Away<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Well said RMA.....