I have a question....I was thinking about telling my husband that i want him to make love to me for my christmas gift. Is it a mistake? There is a greater chance that he wont than he will but i am willing to take that chance......it is not because i am horney(pardon that) because I have went 6+ months without, I just want to be with him. It may be my last time and I want there to be a last time.....that was good!<P>Let me know your opinions!<P>Amanda<P>------------------<BR>:) I will love my husband "Always & Forever" :)<P>

avance,<P>I don't know about this. If I understood correctly, it has been over 6 months for you guys. Asking for this might seem like he has to "perform" and that is the WORST kind of pressure for any man.<P>I would look back and see if there have been any signs he still wanted to be intimate with you over this time period. If he has given the signals....then interest on your part should be returned. Or, you could send out some preliminary signals on your own and see if he picks up on them.<P>I think I would not out and out ask like htis - again, I think it would be aksing your H to perform...<P>Roll Me Away <P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

I might hesitate on that one. Maybe change it to some really special time with him (or something along those lines) and SEE if the spirit moves him!!!<P>Good luck.<P>Lori

no no you mis underston it has not been 6 months this time (in the past when he was away at sea).<P>The last time we were together was in october of 99.......<BR><P>------------------<BR>:) I will love my husband "Always & Forever" :)<P>

The only thing I can say about this...is you need to be sure that it's going to be okay with YOU, no matter what the outcome. If it's the last time, will you be ready for that? Will you feel cheapened by this, last fling? Like you sold yourself for one last chance to be together? If not, then you go girl. Have fun with it. But please...like so many of us didn't.....think carefully before acting. Take care, Arik

Ok, but still it has been since October. That is a while...<P>I think I would try the subtle flirting and signals and see if he responds. Put yourself in the reverse...how would you feel if your H told you he wanted to have sex as a "gift" and you maybe really had been avoiding sex with him for a couple of months.....?<P>Roll Me Away<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

arik....thanks for the advice..no everyone thanks..<P>I would not feel cheepened.....In the past I was really really insecure about my self and was NEVER the one who would initate sex or anything and as I have gotten older(24 dont laugh) I have realized that I am a beautiful person and am more comfortable with me.... <P>I feel like now if I want something I should ask for it or just get it and not feel bad if it dosent work out.....things just happen!<P>i think I will most likely feel out the situation and if it feel right then I will and if it dosent then i wont.......who knows I am no even sure he is coming here for x-mas..<P>amanda<P>------------------<BR>:) I will love my husband "Always & Forever" :)<P>

Funny you should ask that question. I was contemplating the very same thing. Not to ask but to "just do it". I haven't made up my mind yet. It has only been three weeks since our last time (it was on our dream trip). I did feel used though and felt bad afterward. Felt he had "sex" and I made love. Harley says I should have sex with my husband any opportunity I can if that is what I feel comfortable with. We are in competition eith OW and you can bet she would not hesitate! I have not decided yet. I like the idea of giving strong signals and go from there. Advice anyone else?

I say it's risky... according to your post & your profile your H is confused, probably asking him for this kind of gift would be a little pushy, I would go for the less aggressive way of flirting (we like that very much). In a way I suggested my W the same thing when she asked me what I would like for X-mas; I replied "anything I want?" but she finished the conversation with "if a can get in a store".<P>Alex<P>------------------<BR>Live and learn

Avance<P>This sort of falls under a Sex during seperation Post I started. Its a very confusing issue And I am getting opinions I need also. The difference is I dont have to encourage my husband at all about sex he just dousnt want to be married. I think the toughest part is knowing how men feel. My counselor said that men compartmentilize(sp) sex and feel differently about it. The lat time my H and I made love he was stand offish to me the next day when he came over. He kissed me on top of the head instead of the lips. I told him that was cold to have sex with me one night and be indifferent the next day. He said he didnt want to get my hopes up that everything was OK. I am just telling you this story so you can be prepaired for what might happen. Plus, I thing you might be hurt if he turns you down.<P>Hope things work out the way you want them to. <P>faythe