I found out my husband was having an affair. This is so hurtful to write about and I can just imagine what many of you have gone through. I thought I had the best husband in the world, I thought I could trust him with just about anyone. That was my mistake. There was this one lady constantly pursuing him, but because he is a man with high standards in the public eye, I never thought he would do such a thing. I was always telling him to be careful and I didn’t trust her, but the one I should have never trusted was HIM. I feel like if I will never get over this, it began in 1999 when he had to pick this lady up for church, she asked him to help her get some boxes inside her house and when he went in she took her coat off and there she was with no clothes underneath. According to everything he tells me it stopped that year but then started in 2002 again. He never confessed it and was caught by my kids, not in the act but in a compromising situation.
We have been married for 18 years this summer, and at first I didn’t consider leaving him because of my family and everything that was in jeopardy. But as time goes by I wish I would have just left him, but he is trying so hard and I know that I love him. He feels horrible as probably everyone does when they do these things, but he thinks I should stop thinking about the situation, I should stop asking questions and that we should just move on. How can I move on when I know that we probably have to see this lady 2 to 3 times a week and her family has no idea this has happened. Her husband even less. I feel like an emotional roller coaster, I had a nervous breakdown last Friday and I feel like I am on my own and drowning. It’s sad to say but I have contemplated suicide to end this pain, but I know that is not the way to go and I have 3 wonderful children that need me. I just need to talk to someone and see what insight I can get to know that things can change and that this marriage can last without this reoccurring. He says there was never any emotional feelings involved that he never loved her or liked her, but he liked her companionship, I think he is lying and afraid to tell me the truth. I will always doubt about these answers. Anyone out there that can give me some sound advice? We are seeing a counselor, he said he will do anything to prove to me that he will never do this again and that he knows he has really done a horrible thing. He has taken all the responsibility of his selfish act, he says it was not my fault, that it was just temptation and lust. But why if he stopped in 1999, why then continue in 2002 and almost start this year. He has no reasonable explanation, the only thing he says is that last year she started calling and calling and he would tell her not to call and then she would show up at the house and he’d let her in and take care of business and she was gone. I will never understand this. Can someone please help me, I cry every night! It’s been 7 weeks since I found out.
