I logged onto this site once before, in November I think, when I first found out my husband was cheating. I was 7 months pregnant and not ready to kick him out, despite lots of advice that I do so since he is a serial adulterer. I did confront him with all of my irrefutable evidence (mainly cell phone records that showed 10 calls a day to her phone) and he still had the nerve to deny it. Insisted they were just "friends" but promised to end the friendship. Sure enough, the overnight absenses and late nights stopped immediately.

Early December his mother came for an extended visit from overseas. I thought the affair was over, but ominously, all cell phone bills disappeared and new ones never appeared. Well, two major developments, one, it turns out his mother (still with us) is terminally ill with cancer, has only a few months to live, and intends to spend them in our house. Two (of course), I found a cell phone bill and the calls continue to the OW with the same frequency. I haven't confronted him with new evidence yet, but all efforts to reopen the topic of conversation are stonewalled. He refuses to even open his mouth to answer me if I bring it up, and instead gets angry, accuses me of "ruining a nice evening" and says he can't look back, is just looking to the future trying to be the best husband he can be, hoping I can forgive and forget.

I have two kids, one two months and one two years old and my H is an amazing loving father, his son adores him. What do I do?????

Why do you say he is a serial adulterer? Because the A did not end? or has there been other A's?

What do you want? Do you want your M to end.

You are not ruining the evening, he is saying it to try to manipulate you into not bringing up an uncomfortable subject. My H does this all the time. My reply is usually something along the lines of "This is your typical response to try to manipulate me into dropping the subject. Okay, I will. I know that this is manipulation, and I am dropping the subject because at this point we will get no where." Or some response similar.

If you are comfortable confronting him, you could tell him, that "I will forgive and forget when you stop calling her, stop hiding the phone bill and start taking real measure to make this M work and not the measure you are taking to pacify me." Or any other response you feel comfortable making.

Your H's responses are so like my H's responses. Then again, he thinks I'm a B**** because I make these sort of comments.

Have you read the concepts on this site? It might be helpful to you.

Only you and you alone can decide what to do.

Have you done a good Plan A, do you want to do a good Plan A?

Agree with Sue about the manipulation comment. Most BS's have probably heard deflections of concerns in this manner. It is an attempt to get you to feel guilty for expressing your disapproval with behavior.

Click on the link in my signature line. From your description of things in your earlier posts, I have high hopes that the Plan A/Plan B aproach will work for you, BUT I think Plan A will not be enough - Plan B will be necessary before he cracks. (JMHO) However, Plan B does not usually work without a good Plan A, so get started on your reading and learning by clicking on that link.