I recently found out that my husband of six years and the father of my three children has been "talking" to other women. He has talked to a co-worker (a 22 yr. old college student) over 200 minutes in two weeks on his cell; he says they are just friends, and the 3-6 calls a day at all hours of the day and night are meaningless--she needs someone to talk to. Then I found out he has talked to five different women he met on the internet for hours each, all while I'm upstairs sleeping. He swears there is no physical contact, and that talking about sex to a stranger is not cheating. I beg to differ--any suggestions? This morning, I stumbled across a return email from one of his internet ladies. He had written to her that "she has the most perfect face and body he has seen in a while." He still claims he's not cheating, and talk is not infidelity. Help--what do I do? Am I overreacting? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I am new here maryo, but let me say this. You are NOT overreacting. I had similar signs (husband going out with his buddies all hours of the night, several nights a week, talking about a "really fun girl" at work), I thought that it was ok for him to have "guys night out", that he came home to me right? well, now he is sleeping with that "really fun girl".
Where I started was right here with this web page, read everything on this site, especially about meeting emotional needs. I just read a little about meeting communication needs, and maybe your husband doesn't feel like his needs in that area are being met. Hence talking to other women for hours to fulfill that need.
Just read and learn all you can here, Maryo, and take action NOW!!! Before you end up where I am now.

Harmony

Trust your gut. Regardless of what he thinks, what he is doing is cheating. Even if there is no physical contact, which seems unlikely to be honest, he is filling a void in your marriage through these other "conversations". That is a cancer to a marriage. I wish you the best. I'm sure there are other people and information here that can help you get him to come clean so you can get to work on trying to save your marriage.

I'm sorry to hear of your situation. There is probably about a 99% chance that he's cheating. People don't just talk about sex with strangers or log extended minutes on their cell phones. The "perfect face and body" comment is not something that a faithful person would make to someone.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by maryo:
<strong>Then I found out he has talked to five different women he met on the internet for hours each, all while I'm upstairs sleeping. He swears there is no physical contact, and that talking about sex to a stranger is not cheating. I beg to differ--any suggestions</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No confusion at all here - it is cheating, infidelity, betrayal, take your choice. And on top of it, now he is lying to you. I never had issues with my husband talking to other women, as long as he was comfortable sharing all his email and logging the conversations for me. I wonder if your husband would be as adamant about how harmless his conversations are if you read every word.

If he is not willing to stop it because it bothers you, or admit to what he is doing, install a keylogger and see for yourself what he is doing.

Mary.....are you still here with us. Just hang in there. I found out just four days ago that my husband was cheating. And one of the things that has kept me going is knowing that I have this place to go to. Keep coming here and talking, I firmly believe that everyone here cares about you because we are all going through the same thing. Trying to sort it out, trying to figure out why, trying to analyze everything that has happened in the past to lead up to this point. Just stay with it, and get yourself help, I finally made an appointment on my own for counseling, AND I HATE COUNSELORS!!!!! But I feel better just because I am going to have someone to talk to that is totally unbiased about the situation, and can give me straight forward advice, I may not want to hear it, but it will be what I need. So please, stick with it here.

Harmonyj