My son told me last night that his father had wanted to take him and the OW's son to see a James Bond movie, and when my son said that he didn't really like Bond, gave him a hard time, saying "You don't! - Most teenage boys like James Bond" and later telling him that when your friend (the OW's son) wants to go see a movie, you go even if you don't want to. I tried to tell him that his father was probably just teasing, not being critical, but after he told me the part about his father's telling him to go because OW's son wanted to, I am not so sure. I would never have expected H to say something like that. S said he didn't understand why if he wanted to go so badly, he didn't just take the OW's son - I'm not surprised of course that he wouldn't do that while his kids were visiting. Sometimes I think he is embarassed by his son. Actually, our son is so similar in personality to his father (the pre-alien version) that it is scary.<P>I can't help wondering if my H is disappointed in his kids, and blames me for that. He seemed to withdraw from the children long before he withdrew from me. For at least a couple of years he acted like our family was divided into him, and the rest of us. He has hinted that he thinks I am responsible for our 17 year old's personality, which he seems to think is dysfunctional, even though she has numerous friends, started college early, and has excelled academically and in her jobs. Before each girl started college, he expressed concerns about her ability to handle it - I never understood why he has so much less confidence in them than I do.

It's got to be his insecurities... and lack of contribution to the upbringing....<P>You're a great mom... <BR>You have your head on straight!<BR>Don't let him blame you for anything! <P>Jim<P>