My wife seems to have lost her sex drive for me since she ended her affair. She didnt have sex with the OM but they did some heavy kissing. I dont understand why she doesnt feel like making love with me the way that I do her. For whatever reason my sex drive has been in the fast lane for months. How do I get her to join me? How do I get her to want to make love to me as I do her? I have been very romantic and have been trying to meet her emotional needs. We talk to eachother about our problems at work and listen to eachother. When we have down time we snuggle on the sofa or in our bed and I compliment her on her beauty or whatever. We spend a lot of time doing things together and have fun doing them. She thanks me for the nice day I planned for us and vice-versa. I just wish we could get over this last hurddle! It seems to me that if she can get her feelings back for me then my marriage will work out but if she doesnt then I fear it may end. Not becasue of me not having patience but because she may feel she will never get those feelings back. Any thoughts on how to help us, I would appreciate it....Thanks

Okay, 12midnight, here goes:<P>She's probably still in withdrawl over the OM, doesn't want to defile what they had together (I KNOW, YUK ). She probably isn't "ready" to give all up for you. She sounds like she's trying... just can't quite let everything go with the OM (in her head) yet.<P>If the kissing and emotional stuff with the OM was good, and she perceived what she had with you as "bad" then it's probably hard for her to let down her guard and trust you with her sexual being.<P>Okay, blech, I know... but I was there once. <P>I say that you need to keep on doing all the wonderful things you are doing right now: the snuggling, the compliments, etc. She is there, and she is trying, so just give her some time.<P>

HUM,<P>That's weird, I was the so called betrayed and for me Mr. Winky has left the building. <P>When I was with my W hanging out having fun yesterday he moved in his sleep, but, knows it is not the right time to make any moves.<P>I think it's just the situation. Hell, before he was ready in a moments notice. Mr. W carried a pager in case he was out and proptly responded. <P>I'm making sure everything is right with us first.<P><P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P>

Ah Medic, <P>Such a way with words...