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WHY IT HAPPENED/IT'S A START
#427681 04/22/03 09:38 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 131
R
RANDYRAIL
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RANDYRAIL
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R Offline
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 131
I continue to ask myself why did the affair even happen??? Why did I allow myself to go so low???

My conclusions remain the same. Low self esteem, my wife did not give me the warm strokes I needed, no sexual contact for over two years due to the prgancy and the weight gained over the period. (She did not feel attractive.)

Then it's no surprise that when I moved to Texas without my family, the receipe for diaster was already made. Also, two failed jobs within one year.

We talk about the warm strokes that we need. The touch, the holding. We are begining to hug at night, although it's different in her eyes.

This weekend, her parents will have the kids. We are planning to make dinner together, with candles, music. Get dressed up.

Let's see.
Re: WHY IT HAPPENED/IT'S A START
#427682 04/22/03 10:19 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 316
K
karena Offline
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karena
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K Offline
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Posts: 316
Good Luck. I mentioned before...it is extremely difficult, but do make a conscious effort and it will pay off. It will be awkward at times, but perservere....it will all pay off.

k
Re: WHY IT HAPPENED/IT'S A START
#427683 04/22/03 11:04 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 2,000
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chazbutler Offline
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chazbutler
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RR,

so heres a truth no one ever really told me out right.

what you have identified is why you were vunerable, not why it happened.

why it happened is a much deeper and personal thing.

what is it about your character that made it an ok thing to do?

its like the analogy about stealing. stealing is wrong. does starving make it right to steal to eat? the answer is stealing is wrong.

what is it in you that makes stealing ok? its a character issue, not a relationship issue.

ps. if you figure it out let me know, im still trying!

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