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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 22
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 22 |
My WH says one day that he is willing to stop the affair (and I believe he is sincere), but then the addiction kicks in and he breaks down and calls the OW. If he's not willing to do the steps for breaking off all contact and be held accountable is there anything I can do? Do I just have to wait? I don't think I've done any LB-ing behavior in a very long time... like since Christmas. I've been here for him when he's wanted to talk, I've been patient, kind, considerate. Do I try to convince him to stop all contact and agree to work on this, or do I have to wait for him? Thank you for all the help.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
Member
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Member
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
Tess,
Welcome to MB. What your H is going through is a bit of withdrawal or cakeeating/fence sitting. Can't really tell without more info.
But you do need to do a lot of reading first.
1. Read the concepts section above.
2. Read the Book Suriving the Affair and His Needs/Her Needs by Dr Willard Harley.
3. Get with a good MC (marriage counselor) or do phone couseling with Steve Harley or Jennifer here at MB.
4. take the emotional needs questionnaire in the concepts section (see if both of you can take it).
5. post back and let us know how you are doing.
You need to get yourself on a firmer ground before you can even think about helping him. In the meantime, he needs to decide whether he will be removing his pants only at home or be made a fool of on the outside.
take care,
L.
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