By not "allowing" my WS to participate in my daughter's birthday festivities was the first step in my healing myself. When I returned from the party, he was double-parked in front of my house, in deep conversation with my neighbor. He handed my wedding rings to my neighbor stating, "Give these to Kim", she'll know why I'm returning them. My neighbor thought the message a bad one, but in reality, it was a sign that I asked for...when he returned my rings, he was ready to work on saving our marriage. However, we pulled up behind him and he didn't say one word to me. He followed me into the house and I said, "Hi, why are you here?" He said, "Oh, to see the kids and wish our daughter a Happy Birthday." I said, "Um, anything else." He didn't responsd. I never received my rings back, my neighbor was mortified and apologized incessantly for putting me in the position of allowing him back "in". I was not upset in the least; I have finally managed to control my emotions. Anyway, to cut to the point, Monday a.m., he called and told me that he wants to return the rings (cold feet) and that he wants to move back in. Did I put any stock in this...No, but my children were present during the conversation, so they were very excited. Anyway...he comes in around 10 last night, after class, and proceeds to the den (where he plans on sleeping). I follow him (like a fool) to ask him how his day went, offer him something to drink/eat, etc., etc. He hardly says one word, turns on the tv and then ignores me basically for the next hour. I said, "Why don't you sit here next to me, so we're not screaming across the room?" He said, "Um, no, I'm fine here." Well, I had it up until that point...I felt like I was groveling again, and believe me, I do not like when I sound like that anymore!!!!! So, I said, "Good Night and PlEASE leave first thing in the a.m." He followed me up the stairs (my mother was watching tv in the living room) and he bellows, "You know, all you want to do is get laid!". My mother, who is hard-pressed to shock, was mortified. I however, maintained my composure and said, 'You're disgusting, degrading and out of here. I'm going to put you straight now...you will leave first thing in the am and never return until you are 100% ready to return. In the meantime, comply with the court order and there will be no problems. I'm sorry if you do not have enough money to rent an apartment, you wanted to be independent; I'm sorry if you do not have enough money to carry insurance on your SUV in the highest insurance state in the country, you wanted to be independent; I'm sorry if you cannot touch me or bear to be near me, I'm sorry but time is running out, I'm losing weight and people are expressing interest in ME; I'm sorry if living the single life is not all its cracked up to be all of the time, you wanted to be independent. I'm sorry that you cannot say that all this is because of your A, and blame me...teach me a leasson....you'll learn that you may wake up one day and realize all that was good in your life is gone!
I told him to leave bright and early this morning; I reminded him that he needs car insurance. His response was that he was going to live with the OW. I was proud of myself and told him, "Go ahead, enjoy and tell her that I said hello." Let her deal with your sorry person....I'm moving on. He said, "I'll never call you or come by again." While he thinks he is threatening me, he is actually doing better by me...the faster he realizes that he is replacable and that I am tiring; maybe he'll come to his senses.
Thanks everyone for taking the time to read this....it makes me feel so much better to know that there are people out there that understand and believe that it is not a pity party that we throw, but rather comfort that we seek.
Kimmie
