Is this sight open to anyone trying to fix a relationship?

Sounds like there is a lot you are leaving out when you ask the question.

How can we help?

SS

need the info...(austin powers)

Anyone can come here, unless you are Neala Hazell that I went to grade school with in the 70's. She dumped me for J. renyolds on valentine's day and didn't give me back this huge bear I gave her that took me about 6 hours to win at six flags.

seriously, this is a wonderful site and I amsure whatever you are going through there is someone here who has been there done that.

God Bless

Yes, you are welcome here! Doesn't matter if you are a BS (betrayed spouse), WS (wayward spouse) or the OP (other person), all are welcome. This site is geared toward keeping marriages together, although, we accept that not all marriages should be saved, our goal is to help those who wish to build a stronger, healthier marriage succeed.

while you are at it, "just a wifey" what is OM and where do you guys find all these things on here? (by the way, you are not really "just" a wifey <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi gina_in_love

Here is a link u might find usefull

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=29&t=000557

OM=other man

And if you'll note...I have a terrible habit of using the word "just" too often...so there you have it...just a wifey!

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Quote from d_rose: " Anyone can come here, unless you
are Neala Hazell that I went to grade school with in the 70's.
She dumped me for J. renyolds on valentine's day and didn't
give me back this huge bear I gave her that took me about
6 hours to win at six flags."
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d_rose, That was funny! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> matilde and just a wifey Thank
you very much.

gina,
a little humor always helps.
Sometimes this board overwhelms me with the pain that is present here. That isn't really a bad thing though. It takes courage and strength to try and save you M. Anyone...everyone posting here was or is in pain. Us, coming together and sharing that pain connects us and reassures us that we are not alone in it.

This is what going on. I been married several years but not happy with my wife. Last year I met a girl at a place I hang out at. Her husband found out and actually came to my house and left note on my door were my wife culd see!! I took the note into where the girl work and yelled at her and told her I hate her. That was about 9 month ago and I have only seen her once since and she was with her husband so I guess they work things out. My problem is I still have strong feelings for her and want to try and find her to maybe work it out.

I wondered when you asked just exactly what you were getting at.

We are here to help people heal their marriages, not find ways to leave the marriage for someone else. The name of the web site kind of says it all. For you to leave your marriage and persue this girl would break up two families.

We would love to give advice on how you could find love and happiness with your own wife. It is highly possible that you can make your existing marriage into everything you always wanted if you are willling to do the work.

So, although we care about you and what happens to you, I don't believe you will get much help here in going after the other girl.

If you want help with your own marriage, go through the basic concepts section ( in the header above) and think about counseling (link also in the header above.) Then come back and ask questions you may have about the concepts.

Does your wife know the real extent of things? How is she doing? Do you have children?

SS

<small>[ May 01, 2003, 05:01 PM: Message edited by: still seeking ]</small>

N. Hazel... It grieves me that you are in the situation you are in. But, there is hope. I am very new here, and have a lot to learn. But let me give you a taste of what can be. Today I laughed "deeply" and "fully" with my husband for the first time in probably 10 years. I kid you not.

We have been married over 20 years. Sigh... Its been a LONG haul. My first post here, I was frantic and my brain had become twisted...(just a few days or a week? prior to posting here for the first time...) I had met a man that read his bible every day and had somewhat of a ministry going. This appealed to me very much. Even though, I knew in my heart that I could never have a marriage relationship with him because of my beliefs... He was so in need and lonely that he would of drove halfway across the country to "take me out of the terrible situation" that I was in. Anyway...I am in a "terrible situation" because I am passive and I am allowing bad things to happen. (or so I am learing)

Anyway, what I want to really drive home to you is...I am new here. I just started on this road to healing my marriage. I am not even finished with the books I am reading. We JUST did the emotional needs questionnaire ((((YESTERDAY!)))

And TODAY I am laughing deeply (with my husband) for the first time in 10 years???? Does that say anything to you?

ah...You would NOT believe what happened the REST of the DAY (TODAY) And If I knew how graphic people are allowed to get on here...maybe I would be brazon to share that. Suffice it to say, that I have been frigid for most of our married life...for many reasons....mainly because my emotional needs have not been met.

Well, I better get off of here before I get x-rated or kicked off. One or the other.

Just want to leave you with the impression that there is hope for your relationship...If you would ONLY give it one more try....His Needs Her Needs is a good place to start as far as a book is concerned. But, others know best. So, I will let them direct you.

Signed: Gina in Love

<small>[ May 01, 2003, 06:33 PM: Message edited by: gina_in_love ]</small>

I do not want to save my marraige. I want to get back my relationship with the other girl. I do not feel my wife and I meant to be together. This other girl was special and treated me like a prince until her husband found out. Then he starts stalking me. I think if he can get counsling to help his relationship then I can to. Even if we want same girl. Isnt that what this page for? I will start reading some other posts and see wwhat you all about.

I do not want to save my marraige. I want to get back my relationship with the other girl. I do not feel my wife and I meant to be together. This other girl was special and treated me like a prince until her husband found out. Then he starts stalking me. I think if he can get counsling to help his relationship then I can to. Even if we want same girl. Isnt that what this page for? I will start reading some other posts and see wwhat you all about.

Humor is not needed in this case. Anyone can post here and request help but I doubt you will find much in you case. In effect what you have done here is like walking into PETA headquarters wearing leather pants, eating a cheeseburger and asking them if they know where you can buy a fur coat. You'll get an answer and probably an opinion or two. you probably won't like them but you'll get them.

As SS said this is a place for building marriages.....the one you are in.

<small>[ May 02, 2003, 01:14 PM: Message edited by: d_rose ]</small>

NH...You don't want to save your marriage! That's your decision. Not all marriages should be saved, many are not worth saving or putting forth the effort it takes to make a healthier, happier, more loving relationship with your spouse.

BUT...NO MARRIAGE DESERVES BETRAYAL!!!

Find a good lawyer and get your freedom!!!!There isn't anything wrong with admitting that your marriage is over...just be sure to tell your W and your family!

Get yourself free to have the right to pursue another person...but...the woman you think you still want may NOT want you any longer. AND you will have NO right, even if single, to help her betray her marriage!

And yes, if you'll note this is MARRIAGE BUILDERS...NOT a source for finding out how to pursue a married woman when you yourself are married also.

I hope that you do find a good lawyer and get your freedom. It sounds as if both you and your W would be happier apart.

Boy do I feel foolish. I just re-read your post over, and over.... and then the next one. I guess I sure do not have the gift of discernment, like others here. N. Hazel, for one thing, you cant have that girl. For two, you yelled at her? Something does not seem right at all here.
You say she treated you like a prince. That is normal in a new relationship. (but will change shortly if you ever connect with her) If your wife used to treat you like a prince when you first met...you must of changed a bit since then. Thats what this place is all about. Putting back the princes and princesses in a marrige relationship. The "How To Do It" steps are here if you want them. People here are in the process of building marriages and changing lives. I was trying to prove that to you. But, I dont think you may be really interested in that. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />