About two weeks ago, my husband had just returned from a business trip. He has been traveling quite extensively for nearly 4 months straight now. We were having lunch and he broke down. He said he had to tell me something and that I was going to leave him. Immediately my heart started beating like crazy because he didn't have to tell me - I knew without him saying the words.

He was in Dallas on the last scheduled trip for a couple of months. He was lonely and depressed because we had just found out his grandfather was dying and probably wouldn't survive more than a couple of days. I begged him to come home so I could take care of him but he said no. He was leaving to come home the next morning and he would be ok.

Come to find out a week later when he broke down, he went to a bar in the hotel and met a woman. He became incredibly intoxicated and ended up in his room with her. He blacked out and doesn't remember everything, just that he came to and she was on top of him. He asked her to leave and she wouldn't unless he paid her $125!!! She was a prostitute!!! Not only has he done the most unthinkable thing - he did so by putting his life in jeopardy.

He went to a clinic the morning we found out his grandfather had died. Luckily he is ok and was tested for every possible disease.

We have been married for nearly 2 years but have been together for 12 years. He is everything to me and I simply do not know how to live without him. Yet I can't imagine how to live with him either. He is getting help and going to AA. I never thought of him as an alcoholic because he doesn't drink often.

I know he is remorseful but I can't imagine what I should do. My first reaction was to kick him out and I did. Then he came home after one week and he is sleeping in the basement family room.

Is there anyone out there who this has happened to? I feel so alone and betrayed. He was the only person in my life who I never had a doubt about hurting me - now I don't know who to talk to or trust.

HELP!!!

No, mine was much worse. My wife was sober, pursued the OM for some weeks before it became physical, and the relationship lasted 3 years. Everyone that knows her well would be shocked. We are now in recovery and have a far better marriage than ever before. Click on the link in my signature line to find out more about the path to recovery.

lgl...I'm not about to downplay what your H did or the pain you are feeling...he was wrong, stupid, and foolish. BUT...I really admire him for coming to you and telling you. Believe me that is not the normal course of events with betrayal.

While this is very painful and the loss of trust is terrible, you must be doing something very right, as you have in your marriage an environment in which your H felt he could come to you and talk about his betrayal. You don't know how rare that is. It is a statement which to me, shows that you do have a marriage very much worth saving.

I was gradified to see that your H immediately sought out help for his drinking, he seems to be willing to do whatever is necessary to make sure that nothing like this ever happens again. He made the steps necessary to make sure that nothing medical was involved.

From the fact that this woman was a PRO and he was so drunk, it's possible that he was set up in more ways then one. I'm NOT excusing him, by any means, but I would take this into consideration.

If you and your H can continue working together on this issue and any others which you feel need to be addressed, I'd be willing to bet money on your marriage being a success story. JMHO

Good Luck!