thanks for answering me. I don't feel so alone.

I found out about this after hearing his friends talk about the girl Charmaine hanging out at the station way back in 1976. I kept questioning H about it and did he have anything to do with her and finally he said yes. It took since Dec.2002 till May 1st to find it all out. I mean by finding it all out -- all the things he did. I even theathened him with a polygraph. So, he said he would take one after telling the last bit of news. He said I now have it all---girls and guys.

My H has always been with me when not working from the day of our marraige. No bars with guys, no overtime, we went EVERYWHERE together(camping, hiking, vacationing etc.). All was done while working. In 1980 he worked a different type of job on police force. No longer working nites or in plainclothes. I believe there were no others after Charmaine. He said the first two girls were just an ego thing, to see if they would go with him. The two girls in 76 were also the same. When metting Marsha in the park he felt if this girl goes with me then I must be something. The second girl(Charmaine) he was introduced in front of the station by another fellow policeman. He new that guy was with her and he was so good looking and a ladies man, that he wanted to see if she would do for him also. He finally realized that this was not him. Knew is things went wrong he could lose me. So, he stayed away from the park and public places for guys.

He has been always so good to me throughout our entire marriage, but I still feel sooooo hurt. I almost had a nervous breakdown and now are on some meds. They do help. I just wish this was over. I feel like Iam on a rollercoaster at times.

Hanora let me know something about you. I am new to this site and don't know anyone. Iam 56 years old and have one 23 year old son who is a Second Lt. in the Airforce. Anxious to hear from you.

<small>[ January 31, 2005, 03:02 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

thanks again honora. The meds I am on is a new one called Remeron soft tabs 15mg. It is an antideppresant. I too had the shkes and uncontolled crying.The doc wants me to try therapy and I have an appointment on the 14th of this month. I'll see how it goes. You are right. My H probably felt the way your H did. I know he had only 2 dates with other girls before we got married and sex with girls only by a prostitute several times while in the service in 65. He never experienced sex with another girl except me before our marriage. Maybe this has something to do with his actions.

I asked my husband why?? He says he doesn't know why he did what he did . The guys he knew because this started when a young teenager. Stopped when he got out of the service, but started again in 72 till 76. The girls he said because he just wanted sex, fast and someone easy. He wanted no committment to them and that is why he wanted no intercourse.

Facts I know about H: He never thought himself attractive, always tried to be one of the crowd BUT is a loner. He doesn't have many friends at all. With the girls in 76 he knew at the time that many guys at the police station were fooling around on their wives and he said MAYBE he wanted to see if he could too. I don't know

What do you make on all this. Do you have any ideas as to why he did this?? He truly says he cannot remember that far back, but I know if it was yesterday he wouldn't know either.

All my friends have either died or moved away and I have no one to talk to. Can you help

Thanks so much.

<small>[ January 31, 2005, 03:02 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

Me again. Two questions. First, what do you think if I had my husband take a polygraph to prove to me that I have all the truth??? He is willing. Any input on that. Second, do you know any info on the housing market in Chicago, such as where I live whether it would be to my advantage to sell with a realtor or without one. I know houses where I live people are waiting to get in. Thanks again Honora

<small>[ January 31, 2005, 03:03 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

me again. thanks for the info on real estate.

If you come to Chicago, let me know. Maybe we can have dinner or at least a coffee together. Let me know. Thanks for all the help. Still thinking about the polygraph. I should put it out on the boards and see if anyone else has had experience with one thnaks again and let me know about coming to chicago