It's coming up on 3 weeks since H moved home. A week ago we had a hideous, drunken fight (Lor stupidily overdid the holiday wine--no more self-medicating for me). Many, many apologies on both our parts.<P>We're both on anti-deps, attending church & counseling together, going on dates, meeting for "lunch" . <P>Nothing seems quite "right", but there is so much guilt, remorse, anger, fear, distrust & anxiety floating in the air that I think that is to be expected. He left me, for the 2nd time, last year on Dec 30 and I battle those echoes daily (I know, pay no attention to bad anniversaries--I give that advice myself here on MB ).<P>Other than last week, I haven't been lovebusting and I have been compromising. I'm trying to react normally to "I'm going to run out to go get _________ (reasonable stuff)." And not insist on going with or following. <P>I don't bring up the OW (when I have before, no matter my good intentions, I end up cussing about her and calling her every name in my extensive vocab--it just isn't helpful).<P>We're trying to learn how to deal with each other's bad days without thinking the marriage is ending. <P>Still, we both consider this our last shot. 6 separations & reconciliations have taken a lot out of us. I truly wasn't sure I wanted to do this one, even though getting back together is something I've concentrated on for 20 months. I do want my marriage. Healing and forgiveness with both of us will be ongoing for quite some time. <P>My H & I can make it, but as we all know, it will take both of us, my determination has helped bring us this far, but alone, it is not enough.<P>God bless us every one.<P><BR><P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Do not get tired of doing what is right, for after awhile you will reap a harvest of blessings if you do not get discouraged and give up. (Gal 6:9)<P><BR>

Glad Plan Lor is going well!<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

Lor - you're doing such a great job. Keep it up. I hope that all that you've been through brings a wonderful marriage for you and your H.<P>Lori

Hi Lor-<BR>glad to see your update. Sounds like things are going well - and that you are giving it your all while still realizing that BOTH of you have to do the work. I sure hope your H is on the wagon for good this time. <P>How do you find the strength not to bring up the OW? Are you and H talking about your needs and feelings - or are you just taking time to "reacquaint" with each other? Hope you don't mind all the questions...<P>I am going to post an update soon - my h broke it off with OW almost 2 weeks ago and we have been together during that time - although I can't say he has really "moved" home yet as much of his stuff is still at the apt., but it does feel like the beginnings of a true reconciliation this time.... We'll see - I'm trying to take it slow.<P>My thoughts and prayers are with you Lor,<BR>Starpony

Lor,<P>You are an inspiration to all of us! Keep up the good work. And, keep us posted on your progress.

Lor,<P>Yep, the holiday wine will do it every time. <P>I have an update to post soon and it looks good but as you well know it's hard to get your hopes up over and over just to have them crushed again and again. He says he is moving home while on vacation over the holidays. Admits that we're not out of the woods yet but it's not working this way as our family and friends are angry that he is still gone and won't communicate with me. I am the one taking all the advice from them and it's not good because they are angry and then get me upset. They do not understand that time, patience, understanding and plan A is what will work and I think it was. <P>Anyway, I'll keep you up to date and keep posting updates on your situation. How you survived six separations amazes me. I'm in number three and hoefully this is the last one.<P>Hang in there.<P>Chris<P>

lor, i am pretty much where you are,,,it is a little strange, huh? part of me still wants out, but i am hanging i there, and it isn't too hard....<BR>hope your christmas is pleasant..time for some new anniversaries?

I am so very glad that you have made it through the fight. At 3 weeks after my husband moved home, I was no closer to knowing whether or not it would work out than I was the day he came home. It has been almost 3 months for us now, and it seems like we are getting closer. Through prayer I have been able to get rid of my anger at my husband's behavior and be calm when he gets drunk. <P>Plan A seems to be working for you. I will be praying for you and your husband. You will make it this time and your marriage will become the kind of marriage God intended it to be. <P>God bless you Lor and your family.

All right Lor. It’s been a long time for you and you’ve been through so much. Things aren’t gonna be rosy overnight. Keep going for a while longer.<P>((((((((((Lor)))))))))))<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>