There is so much to write about okay I am a mother of three beautiful girls, I run my husbands business, take care of home, children and husband very busy woman. Three an a half years ago I had an affair I wasn't looking for it , it just happened. I handled 98% of all responsibilities in my household, husbands business and so on and so forth. I was under a lot of pressure and now I believe I was pushed.
My husband found out, but it was totally over by then. He was devastated. It was also after he had had quadruple bypass. My husband had a history of diabetes and is a smoker he never took care of his health that was also my responsibility. I have been through hell, he won't forgive and instead he went full force to meet other woman in the past three years he has been going out drinking and meeting with other woman. In the mean time I got second job from 9 to 3 and I run his business after three, actually his business i have been running for the past 17 years and it is out of our home so it is actually all hours. The other job,i did for health benefit purposes and i am saving us 12,000.00 a year health insurance and prescriptions. For the past three years I have been listening to the same story everyday like a tape recorder on what I did. In the meantime still like before everything is taken cared of for him clothing, cooked meals etc. He has a woman friend supposedly for the past two years which i have realized that they have gotten very close latley. I am still trying and wishing that everything is going to be okay between us but she is still in the picture and i am beginning to lose hope. This situation has also affected my children, 18, 14 & 9. He goes out freely and I have tried everything I am on a roller coaster ride. I don't know what to do. I do not want to get a divorce I see when he becomes nice and calm he is like a different person even better than before , but then we begin all over again.
He does go out with her and I know she is influencing him I see the difference. I even hired a private investigator and I found out some info I even feel guilty about that.
I do not go anywhere only with my children and with two jobs and so many responsibilities I do not have any time. Then I get very depressed.
Some good advice anyone? What can I try that I have not. P.S. I am 39 and my husband is 51. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

<small>[ May 21, 2003, 12:53 PM: Message edited by: Capricorn 5 ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">There is so much to write about okay I am a mother of three beautiful girls, I run my husbands business, take care of home, children and husband very busy woman. Three an a half years ago I had an affair I wasn't looking for it , it just happened. I handled 98% of all responsibilities in my household, husbands business and so on and so forth. I was under a lot of pressure and now I believe I was pushed.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It's not my intention to make you feel bad but with so many things going on in your life at that time, when did you have the time to have an A? And as far as being 'pushed' into an A, NOBODY 'pushes' another to have an A (I'll bet that your H uses this same excuse regarding his A), because you and your H have free wills and you could have used them to CHOSE NOT to have your respective A's.

Now as far as ideas are concerned, have you tried to hire somebody you can trust (like your oldest daughter) to help you run the business to give you time to go out on dates with your H?

I wondered the same thing TMCM ...

You had an A while your children were 15,11 and 3 ..... ? All the while bearing 98% of the family responsibilities? Where and when did you have your A? Did you do this under the nose of your 3-year-old? I cannot imagine the logistics. You must be a very creative time manager!

What are you willing to do to save your marriage? Is there a limit to what you will try?

Pep <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

<small>[ May 21, 2003, 06:11 PM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>