I am not sure if I am in the right forum. I am a wife that has a husband, and his second nature is to "get a back up plan" when the marriage starts to falter. It is my second marriage and his third. he is in the Navy and I believe he doe snot know what committment is. We have just had a baby, and he is adopting my two ...Last May he decided to contact his old lover in the Navy and "talk"to her becaus ehe and I were not getting along. His very much dependent on the world revolving around him, and with the birth of a new baby it did not. Through the course of his actions, a million lies were found out and a lot of adulterous situations. he is a flirt and does not kow how to be a husband or father. This has been difficult and I am bitter. Adultery he denies, a relationship he does not. It has been a year and I have caught him again with her...Again it is due to my nagging and us not communicating, he says...I am sick of this and stay because of the children..what do I need to do here?

He needs to grow up and make a decision. He has to decide whether to be a husband and a father or continue to run around like a school boy, but he can't have both. Lay it on the line and don't let him adopt unless he agrees to chose the husband and father path. Tell him what you need from him and what it is he expects from you. There is an Emotional Needs questionarre on this site that you may find helpful. Marriage and raising a family is the responsibility of both partners.

Praying Mantis;

what you have to say is great and true BUT how in the world do I get him to do that? This has to come from him does it not? I have threatened him with separation, i have had the papers drawn up..BUT nothing phases hima nd I do nto knwo if I am ready to walk out the door yet. I am sick of him and his lies. And he never take sresponsiblility for his actions. He shows no remorse is belligerent, and if I question him he says that I am draging up the past. he also staterted the realtionship and emails again..why? becuase he says I continued to question him and not trust him and he felt like that things wer enot getting better????What kind of excuse is this:? What do I need to do here?