We have been separated since the end of March. I had a gut instinct that something was wrong back in the late fall and earlier this year. I spoke to many of our friends and family about his "depression". He did go to the doctor but didn't tell him anything that was going on. I started counseling on my own and the first session my therepist said he's either on drugs (no way), having an affair (which I said couldn't be going on) or he's depressed...I said BINGO! I even told him that! Two weeks later...WH is in counseling with me. He tell "Keith" aka therepist that he's not depessed he was just "acting that way" to get me off his back!
Two weeks later...he was going away for the week to visit some of his family out of state...our daughter had a tick in her ear and first thing he does is call a "client" of his.....let me say that my mother is a nurse at the hospital and we could have called her to advise us on what to do. This "client" is a nurse also I've been told...I knew then that something else was going on...he left for the week...I went to see "Keith" again and he said again...I think he's having an affair.....this time I agreed. I called his cousin's house where he was on vacation and I told them that "Keith" even agreed with me that he was having an affair. Of course they totally disagreed after "talking" to my H. Of course he didn't tell them that he had been talking to her and forming a relationship since the winter time he said. He says that nothing sexual has happened and that I'm overreacting. He moved back in with us last weekend and it was wonderful not just for us but for our daughters as well. They just lit up when he said he was moving back in. We agreed that we had a long road ahead and that we needed alot of work......
Well he moved out just after being back one week because he doesn't understand that I'm hurt by this and he said he wont give up this woman...I guess he can give up his family.
Did I mention that something very simalier happened to us 5yrs ago?
I went to the Doctor on Monday and he put me on some meds for anxiety/depression. I cry for no apparrent reason it seems like and I promised myself I would get help if and when I needed it.
We had a session at the counseler on Tuesday. Horrible doesn't even scratch the surface! All we did for 45 minutes was accuse and yell at each other. Thankfully "Keith" told H that if the marriage had any hope he needed to end the relationship. "Even if it's "just friends" it's not something that is helping your marriage right now...you're killing your wife" I have to be honest here...he did tell me to stop demanding everything because he will just resent me even more. (didn't want to hear that at all)
That night he dropped off the girls from their time together and we tried to talk but it had been a very rough session earlier, my emotions were a wreck and I was PMSing to boot! Yeah for me! He called later that night...twice but I just had to hang up because when I started to get upset he said "I'll just write this down in my book"....the man is actually keeping notes on me and when I screw up something. That's just pathetic to me.
Didn't talk to him last night at all...but I did recieve an e-mail telling me he's not happy about not seeing the girls till Sunday. I wanted to remind him that he's the one who left...not me and he made the choice not to see our girls every night. I didn't of course...but I wanted too. I just e-mailed that he could have the girls Saturday afternoon for awhile, then again on Sunday.
I have been feeling a bit better today. A LOT stronger and more calm so I don't know if it's the meds kicking in or not being with him that's doing it. I haven't cried for 12hrs! yeah for me!
I thought I was in the clear tonight from hearing from him but I did receive an e-mail wanting to know about this weekend and times....I took advantage of the situation and just jotted down some days in the next few weeks that the girls and I have definate plans and asked him to let me know his plans so we could work something out. Of course he called me after getting my e-mail...don't ask me why he called. He was very nice but I was standoffish and didn't say a whole lot. I said I didn't want to give him anything to write down in "the book". I think he gets the picture that I'm hurt he would do that. He did make yet another phone call to me and I was very sweet and nice and yet again very standoffish and didn't engage in any unnessasry conversation. I'm sure I'll get another phone call tonight or and e-mail.
My question....he says he doesn't want the marriage to work out...and he just hasn't filed because he doesn't know "what I'll do" whatever that means....and yet he's going to counseling with me...and he's calling or e-mailing me and that's not his character at all.
Is playing hard to get making me more attractive to him? He asked me to ride on a float with he and the girls this weekend for the parade in our town ....what's up with that??? I don't know what is going on here!
Leslieann

Looks like he wants to project an image of a happy family to the community..
perhaps pretending? I don't know what you would be made to think, especially after him telling you he does not want to work it out with you or the marriage to work.

Are you going to be in the parade?
I think I would be careful around him.
Does he have a big life insurance policy on you?

well that message shot out of here on it's own what I hit to send it I don't know..
cause I was not even down near the reply button..that was weird. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

anyway I hope you will think long and hard..and start keeping you OWN little book on things he says to you. Also things that happen that might seem weird to you missplacing things or scarey stuff you'll know if it starts happening.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

God bless you and I hope things go well for you,
don't put up with the op....

<small>[ June 01, 2003, 06:38 AM: Message edited by: SadEyes ]</small>

Sadeyes...
I have to say...you have me totally freaked out and now scared to death!

Well I am going off boards as of today..
actually said goodbye already on a couple messages.

have you had anything happen out of the ordinary
to scare you? that seems different?
you can e-mail me..

it was NOT MY INTENTION to freak you out..
there is a women out here who made her husband mad..she called 911 he was in the house and before they came he grabbed her and cut her nose off..and tossed it in the woodburning stove. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> .you can verify the story she lived in washington state..I am sure it would be online think she lived in sumas or everson..they made a new nose for her out of another part of her body..and now she goes around telling how dangerous it is when you are married to someone who can get like he did..
it happened so fast..another women was shot by her husband at the teck chool in front of a whole bunch of people while walking with others..construction workers wrestled him to the ground.you just never know what a person is capable of..I wasn't..just be caustios is all...
if you already was leary and afraid of him then that is a sign to be extra careful if he has a short fuse.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
earthangel@telcomplus.net
just be safe..and God bless and protect you ..
you can mail me cause this is my last post on the boards now..bye