Hello this is the first time I have siad anything about this other than to my wife. I find out 2 months ago that see was seeing some else. I went thought alot she left for two weeks. Then came back she told me that she love both of us the same but would try to give her all. Things seem to be going great. By the way she work with this person. Yesterday she had to work with him all day.when she got home she told me that she was tollay lost and did not know what to do. I do my best to understand what she is going though but it is truly killing me to see her like this and on the other hand it hurts me to he this. I'm so lost I don't know what to do.I hope some one can help.

As long as your wife is in contact with the OM there really isn't any way you can begin to recover your marriage. This is because affairs are addictions, and as such, they make it impossible for her to take your feelings into account when making decisions. Her addiction to this man will cause her to do things which are painful and offensive to you.

I've written some newsletters about the topic of infidelity, how it begins, what you need to do to end it, and the process of recovery. You can read them here . If you have problems with the links, let me know.

If there are other questions you have that I can help with let me know, I'm here just about every day.

C

For some additional resources beyond what C has sent you to, click on the link in my signature line. I don't think anything in there will contradict anything you read on the link to her site.

Just wanted to add that John is being very modest about his accomplishments. I won't out him, but let's just say he has writing talents of his own. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

When you're done with all that reading, give a shout and we'll be happy to help with any questions you have.

Hi John......<waving and smiling>

C

Again there is no way for you to recover if she is still in contact and working with the OM. If she is willing to give it her all then she must quit her job which is the least she can do since she is the one who engaged in a sexual affair. By the way do you think if the roles were reversed your wife would accept you working with your lover? I doubt it.

Thanks for the help. I don't think she would give up her job. If it was me I would be go I don't think she would ever forgive me for that. I love her with everthing I am. but I know she has to do the same or our marriage wont work. I pray that she will realize this before it's to late. I am in a lot of pain and don't know where to go from here.

Larryr,
my heart goes out to you brother. I know you are in the deepest darkest valley of your life! Don't kow where you stand about faith in God, but I personally could not have made it without prayer. And the weird thing is, I couldn't actually pray with words or even feelings of faith that it was doing anything or even connecting. In the first months prayer was more like turning to heaven and opening my heart and showing God the complete wreckage that was left. I felt suddenly wrenched from that relationship like everything else in my life. But I had read that He will never leave us nor forsake us no matter what. And so I lifted up my heart in wordless agony. I showed Him my tears and my pain. Kind of like when my kids would come rushing in the door, crying so hard they couldn't speak, holding out an injured body part for me to kiss and minister to. I would never in a million years turn them away. And God won't turn us away either. But this I do know--He expects great things from us and that includes going through incredible trials and testings.
Gotta go take my 15 year old to work, but wanted to post and let you know I will keep you in my prayers. Don't give up. Better days will eventually come.

Thank you I do pray all the time. But this post had to be send from him. I truely touch me so I need this thank you.....